Dirty Little Secret

twenty-eight | burns

Riley

I'm busy applying a burn relief ointment when the front door opens. I quickly pull my shirt down and spring off of the bed before running into the hallway.

Lou stops right in front of me, and I offer her a weak smile. "Hi."

"Bye." She turns on her heel and starts to walk away.

I reach out and grip her wrist, pulling her back. "No, Lou, wait." She stops walking but keeps her back to me. "Can we talk?"

"I don't want to."

"You can't ignore me forever."

"I've been doing it just fine, haven't I?" She bites out with venom.

I pull my hand away. "I just want to explain myself. You don't have to forgive me, just let me explain. Please."

Lou sighs but makes no move to walk away. "Can we sit down?"

"You'd thinking you'd be explaining already." She scoffs.

I fold my fingers together nervously. "Um, okay. Gabe and I... We're not... We're not doing good."

Lou turns around. "So that gives you the right to sleep with his brother?!" She yells.

I try to hold back the tears, I really do, but I just can't handle it when someone yells at me--especially Lou. So the tears fall from my cheeks without restraint. "I'm sorry." I wail. "I didn't mean to hurt you." I wrap my arms around my body. "Just please don't yell at me." I wipe my cheeks as more tears fall. "I didn't do this on purpose. I just feel... I don't know, dammit. I feel lost lately. I don't know what to do, and sometimes I just want to cry all the time."

My vision is blurry as I sob in the middle of the dark hallway.

I feel two arms wrap around me, and Lou squeezes me tightly. I yelp in pain and wince and she jumps back. "Riley?"

"Sorry," I mumble, wiping my cheeks and sniffling.

Lou takes a step closer. "Riley." Her voice is shaky. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then why do you look like you're in pain?" She asks quietly, almost like she's scared to speak the words.

I take one look at my best friend and start crying again. "Because I am! And nobody has noticed." I look down and make an irrational decision. I pull my shirt up to reveal the small, cigarette-sized burn marks on my stomach.

Lou gasps. "Riley..." She whispers. "Who did this? Did... Did Gabe?" I nod as more tears stream down my cheeks. I look up to see Lou crying--Lou doesn't ever cry.

We embrace each other at the same time and cry in each other's arms for what feels like forever.

When we finally pull apart, I suggest that we sit on the couch and Lou offers to make tea. When we've settled on the soft cushions, facing each other with a warm ceramic mug in each of our hands, Lou speaks first.

"How long has this been going on?"

I look up at the ceiling, trying to pinpoint the first time he hit. "Emotionally? Last May. Physically? August."

Lou swallows slowly and releases a slow breath. "Okay," She whispers. "Does it happen often?"

I nod.

"Have you told anyone?"

I shake my head.

"Why?"

"I'm scared," I admit with a quivering voice. "I don't know what he'll do to me."