{|Why not me?|}Beomjun✔

♡•5•♡

When he arrived at the university, he was as pale as a ghost and unlike the usual everyone was staring at him like he was a monster.

He just pulled his hoodie over his head and walk faster to reach his class he came across a mad looking Yeonjun and the disgusted look of all of his classmates.

So he just hung is head down and tried to make his way to his sit, only to be violently pushed to the wall by Yeonjun. And he swore he could see stars at that moment but Yeonjun's voice pulled him back to his painful reality.

The older looked at him with a mix of anger, disappointment and disgust in his gaze. Then he said" Who the fvck are you to tell Yeji to stay away from me?? You are such a coward to do it through text, I am soo disappointed in you, I thought we were friends but you clearly didn't considered me as one."

The younger just stared at him, dead in the eyes with a blank expression on his face "You know what, I was even considering to be your friend again cuz you looked soo pathetic the other day, but guess what, I WILL NEVER EVER BE FRIEND WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU. You are dead to me Choi Beomgyu, I want to never ever see your face again."

The younger just stood there batting his long and pretty eyelashes. He was stunned and couldn't even say a word. Well he didn't said anything since the incident, so he just went to his sit and just sat there looking at the teacher speaking without even paying her attention.

During recess he just sat at his usual spot in the garden and just stared mindlessly at the beautiful narcissus(my birth flower and also his, we were born the same month so😌💅) by the river. He felt nothing at that moment. He felt unalive.

At the end of his last class, he was getting the usual treatment by his bullies but he didn't speak a word nor cried a bit. He just endure it with an empty look in his eyes.

And when he finally got home he suddenly felt all of his suffering coming back to him and he just fall on his knees and started to cry.

SLIGHT MENTION OF SELF HARM!!!

'This really is what I deserve, no one should love me. I'm ugly, annoying, dumb and the most selfish person ever. I'm a horrible person so why should I keep on living? I should be dead so that everyone could be happy.'

He got up and got to his room, he was searching for some pills to execute his plan, but he just came across a picture of him and Yeonjun when they were in elementary school.

'I can't do this, I want to see him for a bit more, be with him even from a far. I love him soo much that I will keep on being selfish and a coward fo a bit.'

He then decided to get something to eat, and after that he started to search for job where he doesn't have to talk.

He then remembered that he had a YouTube channel, where he used to post guitar cover of many songs for fun and that he gained a lot of money with it, but went inactive for like a year.

He had like 6M subscribers, but now he had 3,6M left. So he decided to post there and earn some money to survive 2 more months.

So he set up everything, recorded a cover of Blue and Grey by BTS(one of my fav, I have it on loop when I'm stu-Dying), and then he posted it.

There was soo many people that liked his video, most of them were nice to him in the comments, telling him how much they missed him and that this cover was fire.

But ofc there were some mean comments, and ofc he took it seriously and felt soo bad and insecure in his own skin. And as always if not much more he missed the older, he would cheered him up, and help him editing the video and report trolls.

His heart ache every time he thought about his one sided love, and even if the older treated him like absolute sh!t the past month, he still love him...a bit more everyday.

He spend another month just like that, he was updating his YouTube channel 2 days per week, he was losing consciousness more frequently he was paler and his headaches were worse day by day. His bullies were bullying him everyday, and Yeonjun treated him like a ghost and wouldn't even spare him a glance.

He was left completely alone. Some times he tried to call his parents, but they wouldn't even answer their phones. So he just gave up and just kept on living, well surviving but he was dying a bit more everyday.

His hair started to fall so he shaved them and always put a hat on every time he was leaving his dorm.

3 weeks before his death, the doctor Kim Taehyung called and told him that, they could try to heal him, but this operation costed more than Beomgyu had plus he only had 30% chance to survive and he could even die during the operation. But that it was worth the try, many people were lucky enough to heal so he could try it.

Then the younger just replied that he won't and that he was tired of life, and that no one would miss him if he was gone so he decided to just die and finally find peace and happiness in his after life.

The doctor tried to convince him, but the younger was stubborn, so the doctor finally gave up and wished him all the best. And that he will never forget someone as sweet and innocent as him.

After the call, he just studied his butt off to pass the semester with the highest grade for the whole campus. And the next day he went to the university took his exams and left the classroom before everyone.

After the exam week they had two weeks of break. And he was going to die in two weeks, so he felt that it was a blessing cuz he got to do everything he wanted to before that.

.•°~☆•.°~♡°•.~☆

Hi everyone.

Hope you guys liked my update. It's not as dark as the previous ones, but it's ok ig.

Thank you guys for your support, all your comments and votes really mean a lot for me.

Please don't forget to comment and vote. This chapter was short but prepare tissues for the next one.

I love you guys, I am writing this half asleep so sorry for my mistakes I'll correct them tomorrow. I mean later.

Bye everyone, see yall.