Her life

Part 4: Secret habits

Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive. 
                                                       - Charlotte Brontë
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‼️Trigger Warning ‼️

Coming back to your front porch you clearly aren't ready to end the day, to be alone with your thoughts again. Tom can sense that, he can see right through you. See that you are struggling with something deeper and more serious than you let him know, see that you don't want to be left alone, see that you need to feel safe now with someone by your side. An open book for him to read and explore.
"Normally I would tell you goodnight now, but I don't want the night to end already. Besides I have a feeling you do too, so... What do you think about a movie at my place? We pack you a bag and you can stay with my best friend Luke and me for tonight?" He hopes you will say yes and to his surprise you nod.

The bag is quickly packed, although you can't decide on a outfit for tomorrow.
Another time back in the car, the drive is quick to Toms flat he shares with Luke.

"Mate! I'm back and brought some company for a movie night!"

Luke glides into the hall in his socks, with a goofy smile on his face.
"I heard you say the magic words? Who is the pretty lady by your side?" You take it in your own hands to introduce yourself and when Luke welcomes you after that with a hug and the words 'Toms friends are my friends' you feel your nerves subside. The three of you decide to change into pyjamas, before starting the movie night.
Back from their rooms Tom and Luke start setting up some snacks and drinks, while waiting for you to come out of the guest room, when you do so you feel a little insecure, dressed in your heart pyjama top and bottom. Luke is the first to notice you and gives Tom a shove so he turns around. To have both boys staring at you does not help your insecurities it just reminds you of Noah.

You stand in your kitchen, in your nicest dress, waiting for Noah to come by and have a nice romantic dinner for two in your flat on the balcony. It took you some time to set it up. Fairy lights dangling from the railing, candles set on a nice tablecloth with your best dishes on top. Now all you had to do was wait and bring the last bowls of food outside.
Like clockwork the bell rings and you open the door smiling, expecting to see Noah return it and engulf you in a hug. The last few days were filled with work and important appointments, so you thought he would be happy to eventually see you again. However, the reaction you get instead is much worse. He is staring at you for a few minutes.
"What the hell are you wearing? You look like a whore?" That statement hits you like a truck and you stumble away from him a little. Noah, whatsoever takes it as his sign to step in. Making his way to the kitchen you hope his mood will spike up at the sight of his favorite food, but...
"I thought we would go out and not eat at your crappy apartment, why in fucking hell would you set this up? You are fucking dumb!"

"Lou... Lou... Are you alright?" You didn't noticed that you zoned out until Tom waves his hand in front of your face, trying to get your attention.

"S-sorry, lost in thoughts, I am great." You pull your most convincing fake smile at Tom and Luke. The last one seems to buy it, because he goes back to the sofa and calling over his shoulder "Nice pyjamas!". Tom on the other hand looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, not believing your lie for one second. He doesn't want to pry, he really doesn't, especially because he just knows you for two days, but something inside him is nagging to keep an eye on you, telling him you put on a strong, happy front for everyone else, but on the inside you are not happy at all, dealing with something you aren't ready to share.
Avoiding the nagging feeling as best as he could Tom follows you to the couch and Luke.