YOU BELONG WITH ME , Ben Plunkett

becoming an everest

I walked into school with a smile, and my head high.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely anxious while I walked through the halls.

I had worn a pretty outfit, a dress that fell just below my knees, and some flat shoes. I did my makeup, and exchanged my glasses for contacts.

A few people stared, and some talked, but I focused on my breathing—letting it all bypass me.

I felt sick to my stomach, but kept my composure as I passed Ben and Mandy,
who both followed my steps with their wide eyes.

"Wow, Jasmine," Graham Lansing had stopped me in the hall, smiling at me. "I like the new look," he complimented, before he walked passed me and to Mandy.

I guessed that tutoring Graham was going well.

"Hey, Jasmine!" one of my classmates said, and I waved.

As soon as I spotted the girl's bathroom, I shuffled into a stall, slamming the door and leaning against it with jagged breaths.

I was hyperventilating.

"Jaz?" Ben's strained voice came from outside the bathroom door. "Jasmine, I saw you come in here," he said.

I dry heaved into the toilet, my hands shaking uncontrollably. There were so many people staring. So many people watching me.

I couldn't do this. There was no way I could do this.

"Jasmine, please," Ben begged, his voice straining.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, as I tried to slow my breathing—my hand gripping my chest for some sort of relief from the pressure inside it.

I sobbed, sliding down the door, and put my head in between my knees.

"Jesus, Jaz," Ben's voice was louder now—he was right outside the stall door.

Didn't he realize he was inside the girl's bathroom?

"Jasmine, you need to breathe," Ben instructed. "Can—can you reach the lock? Can you open the door?" he questioned, sweetly.

My vision was blurry—my contacts had fallen out. I lifted my arm, hand sliding over the lock—the door swinging open.

Ben dropped to the ground on his knees, and grabbed my face in his hands.

"Jazzy," he whispered, softly. "Shh, shh, Jasmine. I'm here, okay? I'm here.
I'm sorry. I love you—just breathe,"

My heart shattered, but my breathing slowly returned to a normal pace. Ben wiped my tears.

"Mandy was right," I said, my voice hoarse. "There is no way that we could ever work. I need you too much,"

Ben stayed silent, eyes softening with hurt.

"What did Mandy say?" he asked.

"She said..she said I'm too much to handle. That I'm too dependent on you and her," I sniffled. "I'm sorry, Ben. I tried to turn it off,"

"Tried to turn what off? Your feelings for me?"

I nodded. "I messed everything up."

"No, you didn't. I did," Ben sighed. "I shouldn't have forced you to admit your feelings for me," I nodded. "But..why didn't you say anything, before?" he asked.

"I just didn't want to lose you," I admitted. "Ben, you and Mandy are the best things fo ever happen to me. I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. So I pushed the feelings down,"

"Jaz, you could never lose me, okay?" he said. "I'm just so sorry that you had to witness me pawning over LaToya," he mumbled. "If I had known about your feelings—"

"You what? You would never mention her?" I chuckled. "Ben, it's okay. I can't stop you from being in love with someone,"

"But I hurt you," he said. I nodded.

"You did..." I admitted. "But I'll get over it." I shrugged.

"I just have one more question—and you-you don't have to answer if you don't—"

"What is it?" I asked.

"How long have you..." he trailed off, and looked into my eyes, and even though his face was blurry, I could see the tears prickling in his.

"Ben, I've loved you since the moment you squeezed my hand in third grade during that fire drill—and you said 'Everything is going to be all right. I'm right here,'" I told him.

He frowned. "I'm sorry, you had to keep that in all these years," he said again.

"I'm sorry that it took you so long to notice,"  I sent him a sad smile.

We sat in the stall for what felt like hours—just sitting in silence—rebuilding the few knocked down blocks from our fight yesterday.

"I can talk to Mandy," he suggested.

I shook my head. "She didn't mean any harm—" I told him. "After all, she's right, and I'm just over dramatic,"

*

Angelina Speaks:

Based off a real life panic attack that was had by yours truly 😍

Literally the worst feeling in the world.