WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS PLACE (WHAT WILL YOU TAKE?)

the burden we share

I am not a burden onto others

the only tears i shed are my own

never once have i been treated as a priority

i watch couples hold hands in public places and wonder what i have to do to deserve that

i am not a burden onto others

i isolate myself after a week of human contact

no one sees me for two months

i emerge like a moth from its shell and head to the light

nobody calls me on my birthday and i pretend not to notice

i haven't heard from my family in weeks, my friends ignore my texts

everyone is used to me being gone

i am not a burden onto others

i meet a boy who looks at me the way ive always looked at others

the feeling is new and welcomed

it only takes two months before he stops hugging me when he leaves, starts ignoring me too

i pretend i don't notice but i do

i am not worth anyone's time

i am not a burden onto others

the thought of getting left again so soon brings back memories i try to forget

i try to prioritize myself and still forget to eat for three days straight

i cry in a bathroom stall at work for the second time this week and it's only wednesday

i smoke cigarettes off the back porch and try to remember the last time someone told me they love me

i remind myself that i am not a burden onto others

i don't believe it but maybe someday i will