Welcome To The Circus (COMPLETE)

Wanna bum a fag?

Friday, I'm exhausted already, but at least I've finished all my classes, I manage to evacuate the building before the final bell rush and begin the reasonable walk across campus, the entire school is buzzing with anticipation of tomorrow's party, supposedly a tradition here at Vidre, the quarter-annual "We survived first week!" party.

"Wait up!" I halt and let Laci catch up, it seems urgent, she leans on my shoulder, panting, "Okay." she gulps, "Party. Tomorrow. Need dress. Come with?" I lead her over to a bench, where she sits,

"you were saying?" I repress a giggle, Laci glares at me from under her thick lashes.

"I was saying, I need to go into town to get a dress or something for the party, would you like the come?" Most students aren't allowed off campus unless for very good reason, I wonder how she convinced them to let her out,

"I was hoping you would be my excuse, to be frank, I figured you could say you were visiting your Dad?" She offers hopefully,

"So there is a bit of rebel in there after all?" She rolls her eyes and tosses me a set of keys,

"Great. These are for my car, I'll go talk to the admins." Before I can inform her that I'm not American, and can't even get an American learners permit, and therefore can't drive, she's gone.

A few minutes later, I've made my way to the "garage" where all the students cars are kept, and believe me, if they're old enough, they have at least three. I pat down the walls for a light switch, and I have to audibly gasp when the room is lit, it's like a Lamborghini showroom, I mean, I knew these kids were rich, but this is so over the top, every car in here is worth more than every house I've ever lived in, combined. I don't think I've ever been so close to such blatant wastes of money before, I run my hand along the side of the nearest, a Bugatti, and I can practically smell the money burning, but, oh god, it's so beautiful.

Tearing my hand away, trying not to think of what would happen if I dented anything, I fiddle with the key chain, pressing the button repeatedly and following the clicking sound, I find Laci's car, silver Porsche, of course, that's so Laci.

I go to climb in the passenger side, when I open the door to find the driver's seat, and stand there confused, until I remember America drives on the right. "May I?" I swivel to Laci, standing behind me, I need to learn to be more aware of my surroundings. "You were taking a while, I came to check on you, anyway, I'll drive shall I?" I hand her the keys and get in the passenger side, the left this time.

I can't help feeling like a freaking princess as we drive, this is just a day in the life of Laci, but for me, this is the sort of thing that only happens once, she laughs as I stick my head out of the sunroof, and I'm so glad I could never take something like this for granted, life would be so boring if I couldn't get excited about riding in a Porsche.

"We're here." I sit back down, feeling wind burnt, but ecstatic. She parks us on the side of the road, amongst other designer cars, I guess the rest of the school had the same idea. Laci jumps out and makes a beeline for the nearest boutique store and I follow, I watch her run around the store, expertly grabbing things of the racks and barely glancing at them, meanwhile, I check a price tag and grimace, that's a lot of zeros....

I follow her to the change rooms, unsurprisingly, everything looks perfect on her, she selects a dress and pays, with her Platinum Express card. "Did you even check the price?" I ask in disbelief, she only frowns, "No, why would I do that?"

We end up at a beauty parlour, where Laci is getting her already immaculate brows done. It's boring to say the least. I can't help but stare at the restaurants across the street, "I'm gonna get some food, want anything?" she mumbles a "No." so I burst out the parlour to a frozen yogurt place across the street, then walk down the street, towards a park,

"Marnie?" I stop dead in my tracks, spoon half raised to my mouth, that voice, unmistakeable, I could never forget it, no matter how long I lived, even though it's deeper now. I must be imagining it. I slowly turn, praying it's someone else, but of course it isn't, there's only one person who's ever called me Marnie. "Christ, is it really you?" I face the boy, who's gaping, just as I must be,

"Dylan?" He looks different now, same shaggy blonde hair, same serious black eyes, searching and analysing me, seeming to stare into my soul and know everything inside it, same distinctive English accent, but something's different.

"But, I thought you were..?" He starts, but catches himself, I stare at his shoes to avoid his piercing gaze, they're the same as mine, thrashed black converse, he has a suitcase with him, and a duffel bag, it can't be...

"What are you doing here, Dylan." My voice comes out colder than intended, but it's better that way, he's not welcome. He's taken aback,

"I'm moving to Vidre, is that a problem, love?" I want to tear him down, make him hurt, just as he did to me all those years ago, but at the same time, I'm so happy I found him, so happy he's okay, and I'll be near him from now on, I hate that part of myself. So I don't respond, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing what I'm thinking, he doesn't deserve it, there's a few moments of silence before he asks quietly, "What are you doing here Marnie, this is fucking New York." Every time he says my name, I feel a pang, I wanted to hear it so long, I'm better than that now.

"Same. Dad got a job as groundskeeper." I mutter, his eyes light up, he really has no idea, does he? He just stares at me a minute, taking in all my features, it's uncomfortable to say the least, no one has looked at me so intensely in a long time.

"Wanna bum a fag?" He asks finally,

"A what?" I just frown, hoping it's slang, he laughs, a maniacal crazy laugh, it just makes me so angry, more than before, because he assumes we're fine. He pulls a box of cigarettes from his pocket.

"I mean, a ciggy, I'm sorry, I forgot Aussies don't understand me." I fixate on the box while he lights one and offers it to me, my blood boils and my throat clenches, the smell sickens me to my core.

"You absolute fucking arsehole." I seethe. Pushing it out of my face. "You KNOW how my mum died!" I shake with rage while it slowly dawns on him, I knock the cigarette out of his mouth and stomp it under my shoe, he peers at me, confused, then it hits him and he slaps his forehead,

"Oh my god, Marnie, that was insensitive, I'm so sorry." He looks at me with genuine apology in his eyes, but it's too late,

"Exactly, but don't even bother." My fists clench and four years of pent up self-loathing, and wondering what I did wrong, and worry, burst the banks,

"Jesus, Dylan! Cigarettes? That's disgusting, who do you think you are? You ignored me for four freaking years and think you can just show up and act like nothing happened? I've moved on and have a new life, a good life, without you in it, and of course you just had to come and start the cycle all over again, I'm sick of questioning what I did wrong!"

I'm attracting attention, people are gawking, but I couldn't care less at this point. "I do not want you here, but if you must stay, do not talk to me, ever again, I don't need you anymore." I stand there panting, the tears start rolling down my face and I can't stop them, nor do I want to.

"Marnie..." I hold up my hand, essentially telling him to save it, and stalk back to the parlour, Laci is outside, chewing her lip, she wraps an arm around me, leading me to the car,

"Who the hell was that?" I wipe my nose on my sleeve, regaining my composure, I can honestly say,

"Nobody."