A recollection of it all

Tell Me Where It Hurts

A sickening pain in the base of my chest

Like a ball of fire and pressure right below my diaphram

As lungs fill with polluted oxygen the anxiety

Snakes its way around my sides and twisting around my spine.

Rooting along each and every corner.

Like a weed in a garden.

It holds on tight as I look at myself

These mirrors.

I look at my skin

And my waist

And my chest and the creature in front of me

They tell me..

"Tell me where it hurts." And I say

"Everywhere."

I merely escape the eyes looking back at me. I turn the lights out quickly.

Some little kids fear monsters from the lightless places but I find comfort in not seeing.

I'm not a child but...

Anorexia loves to play in the light places. She's a child.

With a skinny waist that could break in two. She's fragile.

Throw a slight insult her way and she will

Run.

She plays tag with you. When she tags you it's your turn to chase that perfect body and fall.

Scrape your fragile wrists

You start counting how many fingers

You can fit around them.

"Tell me where it hurts."

You point to your knobby knees that shake underneath the weight of your tears.

Not strong enough to move.

Fear of pity is what makes you stand.

Hoodies wrapped around your body to hide the bones that protrude from your skin.

For everyone to see

Anorexia runs and tags you, you try and chase but the body you live in

Can only taste the blood that runs in the veins of your perfect mouth that you've plastered a perfect smile to like a paper mache statue.

Tears stream down your pointy cheekbones and down your chest and pool into the dents of your collar bone.

Wind trickling down your spine you shiver and die slowly. A slow death your mind and anorexia built.

Like a sand castle on the beach

The waves crash over you.

She weeps because you won't play anymore.

The doctors say "Tell me where it hurts" and you simply cannot say a word because anorexia stepped on your nerves and you managed the whisper...

"Nothing hurts anymore."