Outcast

19 - Life

Harry POV 

I hate having something to dread. Especially when the thing I'm dreading happens to be breaking the love of my life's heart. 

The thing is though I can't let him hurt himself for me. It wouldn't be right, and if there is one way for me to stop it then this is the way. 

"Harry?" 

I looked up at the familiar accent, spying a crying Niall. He was soaked from head to foot, but I could clearly tell he'd been crying. I sat up straight in my bed and gestured for him to come over. 

"What's wrong Niall?" 

He collapsed down next to me and I cuddled him in my arms. Quiet whimpers escaped his lips as I rocked him back and forth. I had known something was up with Niall for quite a while now but I never knew it was this serious. 

"Niall what's happened?" I whispered, stroking back his hair. I hated seeing him like this. Every time he cried it felt like all the happiness drains out of the room. It was rare that I ever saw Niall without a smile. 

"It's j-just so hard Harry. Everything I go t-through on a daily basis and I n-never ask for help . . . b-but when I badly need it nobody i-is ever there for me. All I want is for someone to l-love me and nobody ever w-will." 

Violent sobs wracked his body and I gently stroked his back, trying to soothe him. "Calm down Niall. Stop crying and explain to me what's happened to get you worked up all about this." 

He leant up and nodded slowly, wiping his eyes. "O-Okay." 

After his sobs had stilled to silent sniffles I nodded for him to continue. He cleared his throat and looked down at his hands. 

"Well . . . I guess I should start from the beginning." He began, his expression grim. 

"It all began when my mother died-" 

"What?" I interrupted, my eyes widening. 

He shot me a glare and I quickly mimed zipping my lips. He sighed before continuing. 

"My dad didn't take it too well . . . neither did my brother. He was always going out and getting drunk and coming home at all hours of the night with different girls. I guess it was his way of dealing with it all. It was quite horrific for a while because my dad . . . well he . . . he started drinking more often and then he met . . . her. One minute she wasn't there and the next she was. Anyway, my dad never really got up Greg for anything he did and it was the same with Stella. But they both hate me. And it was a while before anything started happening really but . . . he started hitting me." 

He paused and took in a shaky breath before continuing his story. "Anyway, I was in a really bad place not too long ago but no-one ever realised because I always have a smile on my face. But none of them were ever real. And then I met you and the boys and they started becoming real again . . . I felt almost sort of happy even though I had to go home to my alcoholic father and controlling step-mother. I had friends who cared about me and that's all I ever asked for. And then I found out about your cancer and I was absolutely gutted. I didn't know how long I'd have left with you and I couldn't believe something like this could happen to a person as caring and sweet as you . . . and I just felt so bad. So I started lying more and more to get out of the house so I could come and visit you and see how you were doing . . . it worked for a while. But soon enough I had to stay home." 

"Niall I-" I tried but he held up a finger. 

"I'm not done yet." 

I gulped before nodding.