Outcast

18 - Good Sandwiches

Louis POV 

The rain splattered against the window in a dismal downpour. Jessie had left me to ponder my decision. Obviously there was nothing to think about. Of course I was going to do anything to help Harry. What was worrying me was how accurate that dream had turned out. How had my subconcious known something like this was going to happen? And more importantly why hadn't Harry asked me? Why had Jessie had to come and ask for permission? 

My head physically hurt from trying to understand it all. Surely this couldn't be good for someone who had a major seizure not too long ago. I don't even know when it started raining, but it didn't seem to help my mood. Things were getting worse, it wasn't hard to figure that out. More or less it was all going to shit. Harry hadn't even finished his first cycle yet and they already deciphered that he needed the stem cell transplant. That can't be a good sign. 

'He needs your help Louis.' 

A startled gasp escaped my lips and my grip tightened on the sheets. Why can't this fucking voice just leave me and Harry alone! 

"I KNOW!" I yelled, yanking the sheets loose. 

"What do you know?" 

My eyes darted to the door, widening at the fact I wasn't alone. When had he gotten here? 

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, smoothing out the sheets. 

Liam shrugged before crossing the room, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. "Long enough to realise that you aren't dealing with this very well." 

I avoided his pointed look and continued to stare out the window. I didn't want to have this conversation. Not now and not ever. 

"Harry isn't really dealing either." 

This peaked my interest. No matter how much I wish I could avoid this confrontation I need to face up to it . . . for Harry's sake. 

"Why?" 

Liam rolled his eyes, "Why do you think? He's just been told his boyfriend is going to have to donate some of his bone marrow to save his life. How do you think you'd feel if you were told something like that? He's really scared Louis . . . but not for himself, for you." 

I groaned, "But he doesn't have to be scared! I'm doing this for him! I want to do this-" 

"But that doesn't make it any less frightening Louis! He loves you more than anything else in the world and he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. He's putting you in danger and that scares him." 

"Why are you telling me this then? Why doesn't he come and talk to me?" 

And that's me, being a typical brat. Liam glared at me. 

"He's in a right state Louis . . . not to mention they're putting him on a new set of pills and he can't really leave his room." 

A wave of guilt overpowered me and I shrunk back into the bed. "Oh my god I should be with him." 

Liams lips twitched and he sighed, "I don't think he'll mind you missing this one Lou . . . you've been attached to his hip ever since you met him." 

"Well it's kind of hard to ignore the lad isn't it. He's persistant to say the least." 

We both laughed in a silent agreement. The curly haired boy had worked his way into both of our hearts and it was nice to be able to share this with someone who understood. Obviously it was a bit different considering I loved Harry romantically and it was more brotherly with Liam, but it still felt nice.