Chapter 1

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Natuod ako sa kinatatayuan ko pero agad ding nakabawi sa pagkabigla.


"Did I enter the wrong room?"


I managed to ask sa kabila ng panginginig. Sir Mundo is our professor in this subject,  matanda na ito and I expected to see him as I enter this room ngunit iba ang bumungad sa akin.


"No Miss, you are in the right place. Please sit down, will you? You're getting so much attention."


He said in a monotonous voice, glancing at the baby I'm carrying and back to my face. I saw how his expression changes— disgusto iyan ang nababasa ko sa mukha niya.


"Yes sir, I'm sorry for causing a scene."


I went straight to the back seat. Yung lakad ko di ko mawari kasi nanginginig talaga ang mga tuhod ko.


"Ba't ka naman kasi late, you know naman na today is our finals?" Concerned na tanong ni Lyra.


"Mama didn't come on time, I waited for her walang magbabantay kay Aidan." Bulong ko habang inilalagay ang mga gamit ni baby sa katabing seat.


Inside this room doesn't feel awkward, alam naman ng mga ka block mates ko na may anak na ako. I am just intimidated by the man talking in front. Kinakabahan ako sa mga pwedeng mangyari ngayon. My hands are shaking and sweating.


I intentionally covered Aidan's face so that the professor would not see his face. First-time kong dinala ang anak ko sa school.


"For those who came in late." He gave an emphasis to the word late while darting his gaze on me, napayuko nalang ako. "I will repeat the instruction, so listen carefully."


"Sir Mundo can't make it today since he was admitted to the Provincial Hospital kaninang madaling araw, inatake si sir sa puso. So I was asked by the administrators to be the one to administer your exam today."


He paused. Kagalang-galang siyang pagmasdan sa harapan. 


"So I guess we are all set, wala na sigurong late since Miss Calustre is here already..."


Can he stop mentioning me, I know I was late but I had my reasons. Kung alam niya lang.


"Let's start, you have forty minutes to answer." He distributed the test questionnaires.


I prepared for this, walang duda mabilis ko lang itong matatapos. Good thing Aidan is still sleeping.


Everything is doing well, I am doing well... not until Aidan woke up and cried out loud. Everyone turned their gazes on me.


"Miss Calustre, shush your baby, distracted na ang lahat."


Ito na nga ba ang kinakatakot ko, I am causing distraction here.


I know. I know. Gusto ko sanang mag breastfeed pero nakakahiya naman dito kaya kinuha ko nalang ang gatas ni Aidan sa bag. I tried to shush him but he won't stop crying.


"Aidan, baby, stop crying hmm... Mama is here." I whispered on my baby's ear, ngunit ayaw talaga niyang tumigil kahit napainom ko na ng gatas.


"He won't stop, won't he?" Nagulat ako sa paglapit ni sir sa amin. "Everyone, just focus on your papers."


"Sir, I'll just bring him outside. Ayaw tumigil eh."


"No, your time is running, ako nalang muna ang bahala sa kanya..." 


Out of words, napatanga ako nang kunin ni sir si Aidan sa akin at kinarga ito sa mga braso niya. Nalaglag ang pranela na nakatapat sa mukha ni Aidan kaya napasinghap ako. The moment na nasilayan niya ang mukha ng anak ko ay natigilan din ito, his gaze automatically averted on me as if asking for a question. Hindi ko na namalayan na tumahan na pala ang anak ko sa pag-iyak, he seem so comfortable in the man's arms.


"Naks sir, napatahimik mo ah..."


"Baka husband material 'yan. Pwede na mag-anak."


Samu't-saring komento nila.


"Wait sir, the baby looks like you. Parang baby version mo."


Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa sinabi ng kaklase ko. My body trembles so hard that I could not take a grip of my pen properly. Nalaglag ko ito sa sahig.


"Enough with your nonsense, focus! May twenty minutes pa kayo."


Everyone returns to their own businesses and I couldn't contain the feeling that is killing me right now. His eyes are looking down at me with suspicion. Did he recognize the baby? Did he remember me? That night?


"Answer your paper, focus on that ako na muna ang bahala sa anak mo." Bulong ni sir na may diin sa bawat salita niya.


I sighed and picked the pen on the floor. Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras, natapos ko nang sagutan ang questionnaire, naipasa na't lahat ngunit di parin mawala-wala ang kaba sa sistema ko. Will he find out? And if he does, what am I going to do?


Nag sialisan na ang halos lahat. Naiwan ako sa upuan watching my handsome professor holding my baby in his arms, sinasayaw niya ito while humming a lullaby. Ang ganda nilang tignan. May kung anong bumundol sa puso ko. They look so good together. Dream off, Val. That will never gonna happen. Paalala ko sa aking sarili.


Inayos ko ang mga gamit at tumayo na. "Sorry for what happened, sir. I don't have any choice but to bring him with me, walang mapag-iiwanan sa bahay and I could not miss any of the finals today."


I did my best to sound casual while talking kahit ang totoo ay gusto ng bumigay nang aking mga tuhod dahil sa panghihina.


"What's his name?"


Natigilan ako sa tanong niya.


"Aidan Luke."


Hindi ko napaghandaan ang susunod niyang tanong sa akin.


"Sino ba ang ama ng batang ito?"


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