Fidelity

31st

My girl

I was utterly speechless. I would have never imagined to hear these words from Davion. Kahit sino siguro ay hindi ito aasahan sa kanya. All this time, I thought I was doing great just by keeping things the way they were between us. Dahil akala ko ay kilala ko na siya. Akala ko alam ko na kung ano ang mga trip at ayaw niya. May pagka-suplado at brusko kaya't akala ko'y mapapangiwi lang siya sa mga ganitong bagay.

Pero mali ako. I may have known him well as a friend, but not as a significant other. In fact, I have never made an effort in doing so.

"I see.." napalunok ako. Maingat ang mga mata kong nakatingin sa kanya. My gaze were filled with sympathy. "That's how you felt.."

Dahan-dahan akong tumango.

"Alright... I'll be more considerate.." marahang wika ko. Diretso ang tingin ko sa kanya upang maipadama ang sinseridad. "I promise to look after you the way you do to me,"

He was nodding along with me. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nasilayan ko ang pag-angat ng sulok ng labi niya sa sinabi ko. I don't know if he's even trying to suppress it but if he was, then he obviously failed. Big time.

Parang naninikip ang dibdib ko sa halo-halong emosyon. Ngayon lang rumerehistro sakin ang lahat.

He's right. I've always only cared about myself. I've never once considered him or the way he feels like he does to me.

Growing up as a Tuazon, I got so used to being served and pampered. Masyado kong naging self-centered na para bang sa akin lang umiikot ang mundo. Tuwing may ginagawa para sa akin, I don't feel the need to do it back or reciprocate. I couldn't even imagine how my actions have made Davion feel.

"The desserts you baked were actually really good.." tikhim ko. "Kung hindi lang dahil kay Mommy, I'm sure I would have stuffed my face with it in front of you."

Napangiti siya. "Really?"

Marahan akong tumango, nakayuko na. I realized I've been unfair to him. Kung hindi sarili ang iniisip ko, ibang tao naman. My Mom, Raya, and everyone else. I've always cared about anything and anyone but Davion.

His position subtly shifted. Nasa sandalan ko na ang kanang braso niya. Naka-triangle iyon habang nakasandal ang ulo niya sa palad. Para akong isang palabas na pinapanood niya nang masinsinan. His eyes were sparkling like a five-year old watching a cartoon show.

Bigla akong naconscious sa buong atensyon niyang nakatuon sakin. My hand felt empty without his right hand on it but he was quick to replace it with his left one. I bit the insides of my cheek. Ngayo'y hirap na kong makatingin sa kanya.

Lumunok ako. "I'm sorry too sa mga pagkakataong hindi kita nakukumusta.. Masyado kong nadadala sa pagkukwento ng nangyari sa araw ko na hindi ko na natatanong ang sayo.. It's not that I'm not interested. Hindi rin sa wala akong pake. I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I just... unconsciously had this idea that those weren't really your thing anyway so I wasn't really mindful enough."

I sighed.

"I guess I was just also being careful not to end up doing something you don't like.." I bit my lip. "I just don't wanna mess this up,"

Pakiramdam ko'y umiinit ang mukha ko sa posisyon niya at sa paraan ng pagkakatitig niya sakin. Masyadong malapit. Parang pati paghinga ay bawal dahil baka maramdaman niya.

His eyes were glinting with something. Nang sulyapan ko siya ay nagningning ang mga iyon kasabay ng malawak niyang pagngiti. Napaawang ang labi ko. I've never seen Davion smile this way. Literal na hindi ako makapaniwala! I'm not even overreacting. This smile is so out of Davion's character! Tumingala siya't napapikit. I even heard him groan.