'What is Phan?'

Chapter 15

Phil's POV:

'Hey Dan,,, we have to talk'
'sure,when?'
'Tomorrow?? Before school?'
'ok. I'll be there'

I rub my eyes as I sigh. I felt horrible after kissing Louise. I felt like I used her for no other than my own happiness. Yeah, sure she wanted me to kiss her but that doesn't make it any more ok.
I lay on the floor staring at my ceiling for what feels like hours.
If only I could go to the past and punch myself in the nose.

~~ The dreadful moment before school~~

" Phil?"
I turn around meeting the big brown eyes of a worried Dan.
" I need to talk to you" I state as I awkwardly out my hands in my coat pocket.
" Ok... go on"
" Why have you been acting like such a jerk lately?" I plain out ask.
" What do you mean?" He angrily asks as he flares his arms around.
" All you've done these days is pick a fight with me! Why?!" I half yell.
"Phil shush. You're going to attract people"
" No! I can do whatever the hell I want to do" I continue to yell.
"Phil look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a jerk. I just wanted to protect you..."
" From what Dan? Happiness?"
" From this damn school! They're so fucking homophobic! Ian and Anthony planned to out you to everyone using your channel! I mean, it's pretty clear you're not completely straight so don't go telling me that I'm wrong"
" ... but... How did they find my channel?"
" I don't know"
I suddenly remember the day that I got a million subscribers. I knew I saw something. I might have not exited out due to my excitement.
" I-I..." I gulp.
" I'm ... sorry for being such an asshole about it. I just didn't want you to get hurt... to get me hurt..." Dan says as he looks down at his shoes.
" Dan... It's ok. I haven't been the nicest either"
" Phil I'm scared"
" Scared of what Dan?" I ask as I hold one of his hands.
He wipes away a tear as he mumbles something incoherent.
" What was that Dan? You mumbled" I ask.
" I'm scared... that.. I'm starting to fall in love with you"
I turn bright red as Dan's words sink in.
" I.." I try to make a sentence but can't.
He's left me speechless.
" I've got to go" Dan runs.
Before I can get to say anything to him, he's turned towards the school's entrance.
I quietly whisper to myself " I think I love you too"
" Hey Phil. What's going on?" Louise asks as she makes her way towards me.
" I'm sorry" I apologize.
" For what?"
" I can't... We can't... I just-"
" I know Phil" She sadly smiles. " I'm not the one you love"
She takes my hand as she continues. " It doesn't make you happy and I'm sorry I was so selfish."
" What? No Louise! You're not selfish. It's just... you deserve someone better. Someone who will love you and take you on dates where you're glad you met them and I... I can't do that. I'm- Louise I can't because... I already love someone else"
I look down at the ground as I try to hold back tears.
" Phil, it's ok. I know you love Dan... You deserve to be happy"
" So do you"
" Yeah but not if it prevents you from being happy yourself"
I sadly smile and peck her cheek.
" Thank-you Louise" I whisper to her ear.
Suddenly, I feel her grip my arm tightly.
" Louise? What's wrong?" I ask concerned.
Louise grunts in pain as she clutches her shirt.
" Phil... Call an ambulance" She says before she faints.
I catch her before she can fall to the ground. I quickly call the only person I can think of. They answer on the second ring.
" Hello?"
" Dan, help me! Louise fainted!"