The Brothers Black

Chapter 30

"I don't want to leave," Regulus said, but I don't think he knew he was speaking out loud. His voice was faraway, his words lingering in the chilled air of the Astronomy Tower.

The breathtaking view was the same as it always was. The rolling hills, sparkling lake, gentle trees (minus the Whomping one) — everything was how it was supposed to be. This time, though, if you peered over the gates and past the edge of the grounds, you could make out the rising smoke from a faraway engine. The train was here, ready for its departure tomorrow.

I picked my head up to look at him, and his eyes were fuzzy, swimming in a deep dark pool of the ominous clouds in his head.

"You okay, Regulus?"

He blinked, apparently realizing for the first time that he had shown actual emotion. Or, at least, a lack thereof, in contrast of just masking his feelings. Suddenly, he straightened and a forced smirk played at his lips.

"Yeah, it's just better here," he mumbled, shifting his weight against me.

I was about to inquire more, but the clock chimed, alerting us that we had 10 minutes until curfew.

I sat up, painstakingly pulling myself away from his comforting embrace. His hand tensed around my torso, as if willing me not to leave. 

"I'm sorry. I can't get detention on the last day. Filch won't let me on the train," I said with a laugh.

"Yeah," he breathed, sounding distant once again.

"Hey," I said, pushing one of his brown curls out of his eyes. "I'll write."

His expression faded once again. "Ads," he started.

"Oh no," I said. I knew what was coming. "You can't just – you have to – I need you to write. At least that."

"I can't." His eyes bore into mine with deep regret. "My parents check all the mail. They can't find out."

I sighed, glancing at the floor. I couldn't meet his eyes. It wasn't his fault, but it still hurt.

He took my face in his hands and bent down to press a kiss on my forehead. He bent down, touching the top of his head to mine. 

"I just want you to be safe," he whispered.

"Safe?" I cried, suddenly standing up. "I don't care if your parents come after me with an army of muggle haters. I just want to write to you!"

"Ads, you don't understand, it's worse than that. Things are getting bad. This summer..." he stopped.

"You're not going to tell me?"

"I can't!"

"How many times are we going to keep having this fight?"

"Until you understand that I'm just trying to protect you!"

"I don't need your protection!"

He paused, staring straight into my eyes. His voice dropped from a shout to nothing more than a whisper. "Believe me when I say you do." There were traces of fear behind his voice.

"Fine," I huffed. "See you in September." 

If that was what he wanted, that was what he would get. I stormed out and slammed the door without looking back. I tried to run down the stairs, but stopped in my tracks. My feet weren't budging. My feet were practically glued to the top step, just like the night in the forest.

I groaned and turned to see Regulus catching up to me, his wand drawn.

"I'm not letting you leave like this." His voice was firm. "You know I can't tell you. You saw my memories."