A Heavy Heart

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*Emerges from a random hole in the ground on the back of an oversized mole, holding a mug of hot chocolate* Why hello. *Long slurp* I'm back. I think.

After not updating for a millennia, I decided that it's time to post again, so... here, I guess.

Not sure what part of my brain this came from, but it's a tear-jerker. Have some tissues standing by. And possibly some junk food.

Enjoy! :D


Fives sat alone in his barren cell in the Republic brig on Coruscant, head in his hands. His tears had long since dried, but he didn't have the strength to wipe away the stains that covered his face. Perhaps he hoped the discomfort would alleviate even the smallest bit of his pain. It didn't. Nothing would. Only you could have helped him, but you were the cause of his grief. Now and forever.

Why had you done that? Why did you save him? It should have been him to take that blaster bolt, not you. It was intended for him, but you had shoved him aside, taking it yourself.

When Fives sat up and found himself unharmed, he was hit by a wave of relief. Relief that was quickly extinguished by shock and fear when he saw you laying next to him, a hole burned through your chest. Rex had raced to your side, but Fives was faster, and carefully pulled your head into his lap. He begged and pleaded for you to stay, not to leave him alone, but there was nothing that could be done. You were too far gone, and soon enough, your body had gone cold in his arms.

As you had died in his arms, you whispered that everything would be okay. How? How would anything be okay? You were gone, never to return - nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay.

Fives' first instinct was to scream and cry, but his grief was quickly consumed by fury, and he lunged at the man who had shot you down:

Fox.

Fives launched himself at his brother and tackled him to the cold steel ground, straddling his waist to pin him down. Fox's men were quick to try and pry Fives away, but they were quickly ordered to stand down by their Commander. The head of the Coruscant Guard took ever punch and curse Fives threw at him, not bothering to fight back. He knew what he had done, and he knew he deserved more pain than Fives could deal him. Meager punches and kicks, no matter how hard, couldn't rid either of them of their pain.

When Fives' rage faded and he started crying again, he slipped off his brother and found himself at your side again, holding your limp body close to his chest. Fox lay still, on the verge of unconsciousness, and wholeheartedly wishing he was dead. In that moment - and for thousands more to come - that was one thing he and Fives had in common.

You hadn't been like most other Jedi in the war. Even as a padawan, you had been stronger and wiser than most Jedi Masters, and swore to always do what it took to keep people safe. You saw each and every trooper in the army as a friend - a brother, even - and they felt the same about you. You had room in your heart for everyone, and loved those close to you like the family you had never known.

You had sworn to Fives and many others that you would protect them with your life, and would support them even in death. The words had seemed hollow and practically meaningless at the time, but now Fives cursed himself for not taking them seriously.

Now you were gone.

All because of his investigation...

All because he had gone to your for help...

All because you could never say no to him when he was in need...

He couldn't help but blame himself, despite knowing that you would be furious with him for doing so.

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