Perfectly Deceived

chapter twenty four

Breya

Tonight almost felt like a dream one I didn't want to wake up from. Is this what it felt like to live? I felt rebellious.

Rebelling against my instincts and the feelings my monster burned in me. Embracing the fear and pushing though it.

The night had been full of laughter and flowing conversation. I didn't feel like I shouldn't be there or unwanted. I felt included. I found it fascinating hearing their life stories. It gave me hope of my own life and future.

"you surprised everyone tonight".

Wolf's voice sounded around my head his statement causing the hairs on my arms to raise. I wasn't afraid maybe nervous incase I did something wrong. I didn't know how to appropriately behave around other people after all.

" I surprised my self I think I did ok?"

My voice was full of nerves as the question left my lips wanting no needing validation. Im glad my back was rested against the silver wolfs body so my eye could look out into the sleeping camp and avoid his.

" you were amazing"

Silence filled the night around us as I smiled to myself. I was proud of myself it had only been a few weeks. I couldn't quite believe how far I had come.

" how are you feeling about tomorrow?"

I thought for a moment because I truly didn't know. Tomorrow's one of the biggest days of my life. How was I supposed to feel?

"overwhelemed I think. In a good way it doesn't feel real. I have dreamed of doing this my whole life  but I never believed it was actually possible"

"breya your life is yours now I can't wait to finally see you living it happily. You deserve that and more"

"thankyou rowen I honestly don't know how I will ever repay you for everything you've done for me"

I meant every word this big, strong, powerful wolf and human had been so gentle and kind to me. It was still difficult to accept but I was so thankful.

"Colby is looking forward to seeing you he hasn't stopped mindlinking me since we left"

A laugh escaped me before I even realised what I was doing.

"he is like a mother hen is she warm enough? Are the others leaving her alone? Has she eaten enough. I've had to shut him out just to get a moments peace"

The amusement in his voice was undeniable. Colby is my friend I can say that with confidence I truly believe these three men care for me. As I do them. It warmed me to no end. It felt good to be cared about.

"rowen?"

"yes?"

"do you think I can do it? Become one of you"

The silence was making me nervous I don't know why i asked maybe it was because I was starting to accept it or if I was afraid.

"yes I do"

He believed in me without question. I wanted to ask why but decided not to taint the night with my doubts and insecurity's. The moon was high in the sky the only sound I could hear was the gentle crackling of the fire. I realised that tonight I experienced my first real life moment. I had socialised, smiled,laughed and found myself relaxing more.

Tonight I had lived I wanted to fall asleep feeling this happiness and warmth. Curling myself into the soft fur of the beast I welcomed sleep for the first time in my life.

When morning came we were quick to set of. Rowen wanted to get to the others as quickly as he could. So that we could get to the hotel and settle in.

We met them in the forest rowen said it would be safer. Away from prying eyes of humans. It felt strange that I was going to meet then for the first time then say goodbye to a life that was never really mine.

I saw Colby first his bright smile and over enthusiastic hand wave made me chuckle. Then Jackson who held a small smile in his facr . I was excited to see them I couldn't wait to to tell them what I did last night. These feeling were so foreign to me yet so welcoming.

"you finally made it we've been hear for hours"

Colbys vocie held amusement causing the silver beast to growl quietly at him and his teasing.

"breya we've missed you Jacksons given me quite the migraine. come on let's get you down from there"

Colby had no issues in gently helping me down. Once my feet were planted on the floor I was quickly tackled by big arms wrapping around me.

"colby your squashing me"

I all but gasped out, quickly he let go steadying me back on my own two feet.

"I missed you both to"

I felt my cheeks blush with embarrassment as I realised everyone was watching us.

"breya"

Jackson walked  towards me his arms open for an embrace yet he was careful and slow in movements like he was afraid he would scare me. I happily returned the hug feeling safe and grounded with him. I'm not sure why the comfort was there but I was grateful

"go and change will you we haven't got all day"

Colby just couldn't resist moaning and causing a scene. Again laughs left by mouth involuntarily.

It felt good to do what I wanted in the moment. Not be carful about my actions or responses. Yet it felt wrong to.

I guess it was going to take a while for me to get used to being free.

As proud as I am about my actions last night. I didn't exactly contribute much to the conversation. I just quietly listened to the others. To be honest I didn't have much to actually talk about other  than my troublesome past. Safe to say I didn't feel like that was campfire chit chat.

"was the journey ok breya?"

Erin appeared in front of me as the wolves went behind trees to change.

"it was amazing actually"

"once we get settled I was hoping we could have a catch up if your up for it?"

I suddenly felt guilt eat up remembering the way I left our last conversation. I found myself playing with my hands again anxious about what to say.

"im sorry for my actions that day I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I was frustrated. You were inky trying to help me"

"breya it's fine honestly I pushed abit to far. Why don't we continue this conversation over Dinner tonight?"

Nodding in response rowen stole my attention as brushed his hands through his hair. Dressed in joggers and plain black t shirt he approached us.

" are you going to be ok making the rest of the journey in the car? "

" I think so I supposed I eventually have to try?"

His light chuckle filled my body with heat I loved his laugh.

"I suppose if you need a break you just let me know It won't take long for us to get there mayh half an hour"

Making our way out the forest onto a narrow road there were cars parked in a line. As I climbed into the car I couldn't help the bubbling nerves. My stomach felt like it was dropping to the floor.

Not because I was scared of the car but because I didn't know what to expect from the next few days. I didn't know if I'd find the closure I needed or not.

I hoped that this trip wouldn't be difficult and that it would help. The engine started and I couldn't help but feel like there was no turning back.

No hiding, running or ignoring my problems or life. I was about to start learning how to live, it was both terrifying and exciting.