Perfectly Deceived

chapter seventeen

Breya

Yesterday had been so surreal to me actually most days had been since I opened my door. Yesterday wasn't just different though it was actually incredible just thinking about it made me feel warm inside. I felt excited and  alive and that is definitely not the normal for me.

Rowen had been amazing, taking me away from whatever situation Warren was about to create and turning the day into something magical. I didnt know how I was ever going to repay rowen, cby or jackson for the kindness over the last few weeks.

Even that made me smile I felt like I had people like I wasn't alone anymore. That in itself was the impossible. My .ind wondered to last night and nervous smile graced my lips, embarrassment trespassing on the warm feeling I felt inside.

I dont know what came over me but I just didn't want to brave the night alone again. I was exhausted o tried to sleep but the thought of the same nightmare kept invading my thoughts so out of frustration I began marching down the hall towards rowens office. Desperately searching for a distraction from the dark corners my mind was wondering to forgetting myself for just a moment until my eyes landed on him.

Stood tall in the doorway of his balcony I realised how impulsive id been. When I finally chose a book to read I settled myself down on had sofa preying he wouldn't kick me out. I really didn't want to be alone. To my surprise he fidnt say a word he just tapped away at his computer while I quietly read into the night.

In the early hours  my eyes traveled towards him the soft glow of the lamp resting on his olive skin. He was soundly sleeping in his chair, honestly he looked incredibly uncomfortable but I couldn't bring myself to wake him up. Instead I found the throw that sat over the back of the sofa and pulled it with me towards the sleeping wolf.

Gently pulling it over him and stepped away quietly before heading back to my room. I didnt sleep atall last night and I hienslty felt exhausted as the sun rose beginning another day. Today I had another session with erin scheduled for after breakfast only this time I wasn't so nervous.

As soon as I was dressed I headed for the door of to be surprised by a smiling erin.

"Good morning breya I hope you don't mind but I've changed our plans a little "

Her chirpy voice surprised me because her eyes held nerves i eyed her a little skeptical before nodding I  agreement. Although I had no idea what I was agreeing to.

" excellent well how do you feel about having breakfast with me outside in the garden?"

I thought back to the beautifully lit up garden id ran into the night I spoke to colby.

"Thats fine, can I still have coffe though"

Letting out a laugh that startled me a little she eagerly agreed to my request. She see.ed rather excited.

Rather that sitting on the stone benches there was a blanket placed on front of the water fall that seemed to be turned of.

" I asked it be shut of otherwise we would struggle to hear one another"

I swear she could read minds, breakfast was on trays in front of us alo g with flasks of coffee. O was greatful for the coffe I would need it to get through today. I dont know how I survived without it.

"So I thought today we could talk about things you think you wouldike to do? Just to keep things light and easy for you. Maybe it will help me get to know you abut more and visa versa"

I couldn't help but drift to the same thought that had popped in my head many of times over the years. Sure there are lots of things I'd like to do like learn how ti ride a bike, or swim.

" there are lots of things I'd like to try but honestly something I've always wanted to do probably more so now with everything that's happened is well its silly really ..

"Nonsense breya if its something you want to do then it's not silly thst I can promise".

Her encouraging words were humbling to me. I was honestly so grestful for that.

" id like to visit to see other you know humans"

She seemed taken back by my words but seeing other humans was something I've always wanted to do. Before finding out the truth about what I was it was all I'd dream about becoming a part of. I was intrigued to kniw if it was like I imagined simple and normal. Not that I knew what that was.

Id only ever been a part of the wolf world and maybe it wasn't as important now but to me nothing had changed. I still found myself wondering what they were like. For all my life I'd only ever been human si maybe thats the reason why.

"Well I have to say I wasn't expecting that may I ask why ?"

"I dont really know well I used to know. I know that I'm supposedly like you but to me ive always been human. When I lived with moonrise pack I used to dream of becoming apart of the human world away from wolves and everything I knew. Im sorry I know that dosnt make much sense..

I felt her hand gently touch the top of my own. My gaze meeting hers as watch pools of water form.

"Acrually breya that makes perfect sense, have you spoke with alp.. I mean rowen about this?"

Shaking my head i felt shame wash over me.

" no he has been so good to me I dont want to make him feel like I dont like him or colby or jackson. I do there nothing like larsen that im certain of but I'm afraid if I tell them I still want ti see the human world they will think..

I couldn't finish the words I felt like I was betraying them and their kindness. It seemed a little ungrateful even to me. I knew I could never actually be a part of the human world especially knowing what I was now as much as I hated that I knew but it didn't stop me wondering.

"I think they would understand breya, you've been through so much you deserve to know and learn more about the world and its wonders. Talk to them im positive it will make you feel better about it all"

I half smiled at her for that maybe she was right. Maybe I needed to learn more about humans anyway after all I was still half human.