Through the Line of Fire

The Whole Truth and Nothing But

Natasha's POV
"Steve Rogers! You get back in here and take advantage of me!" I yelled from the bedroom.
"No!" He shouted from the other room.
"No? You've never refused me before." I crawled off the bed and walked over to the door way.
"Well, I am now!" He turned to face me.
"So what, do you not want me anymore? Do you think I'm less desirable now that I'm going to have a baby?" When I said those words I felt uncertainty settle. What if that was what was going on.
"Natasha, you know that's not the reason! I'm doing this because I love you."
"If you love me then get in here and have your dirty way with me!" I stomped my foot as if I were a child throwing a fit.
"No! And that is my final answer." He threw me a stern look.
I glared at him for only a second before saying, "Fine, then you can sleep in here tonight!"
"Fine." He throws himself onto the couch.
"Ugh!" I sharply turn around and head to the bedroom. I grab a blanket and pillow and go back into the living room. "Here!" I throw them both at him.
"What are you doing?" He asks catching them.
"Well, I don't want you to be cold! I'm not a monster!" I tried sounding hateful but there was no way to make that sound hateful.
"Thank you." He started smiling at my attempt.
"You're welcome!" I shout as I turn around.
Right as I make it to the door he spoke.
"Natasha."
"What!"
"I love you."
"I love you too!" As the words slipped out of my mouth I slammed the door.
-----------------
I did not get one second of sleep last night. I basically just laid there contemplating my fight with Steve. I guess it was a little stupid to fight over something that dumb. But it's not like it was that big of a deal. What is with him?
I set an alarm to wake me up at 7:00, but it did me no good. I turned it off and slept till 9:00. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I quickly undressed and hop into the shower. The hot water felt good against my skin.
"Nat?" I was startled when I realized Steve was on the other side of the shower. I almost slipped but held my balance.
"Jesus! Steve, quit doing that."
"Sorry." He mumbled. "How did you sleep?"
I sighed before answering, "Okay I guess. I know I would of slept a hell of a lot better if the man I loved made rough, wild, and passionate love to me while the feelings of misery and weakness were replaced with love and desire. Then when we were threw I could've rested peacefully next to him and seeing his face as I woke up this morning."
"Ouch, that cut deep." He leaned against the glass.
"Good."
"Look I'm sorry but it would be different if I hadn't of just found out that I was going to be a dad."
"Can you stop saying that! I know you're excited and I am too but sometimes it's a little annoying. And what do you mean it would be different?"
There was a long pause before he answered. "Natasha, I think we should get married."
"What!" I slammed my hand on the glass and that was apparently all it took before it shattered beneath my fingers and Steve fell straight through.
I let out a short shriek before I looked down to see Steve lying between my legs as the water from the shower falls on his face.
"Oh my gosh!" I reach up and turn the water off. "Are you okay?"
Through small grunts he replies back, "Yeah but you're bleeding." He sits up and moves into the floor of the bathroom.
"What?"
"Your leg. It has a big cut. We should get that cleaned up."
---------------------------
"And just one more tuck here and wallah."
After I had cleaned up the blood and put some clothes on, Steve tended to my wound. I looked up at him with a small smile and whispered, "Thank you."
"Well, I'm afraid it's going to take more than just a thank you. I'm going to have to charge you."
"Oh really? Well tell me how much it's going to take doctor." I playfully smirked.
"Well for such a special patient, I'm willing to cut you some slack. All you gotta do is...." He pondered a moment. "A big wet one. Right on the lips."
"A big wet one? What are you, eight?"
"It sounded better in my head." He gives me a boyish grin and ever so lightly presses his lips against mine. We both slowly lay down side by side on the bed. After the short but sweet kiss I turn over and press my back against him. He wraps his arms around my waist.
"Tell me what you love about me."
"I love everything about you."
"Be specific."
"Okay, well let's start from head to toe. I love every single strand of your fiery red hair." He kisses the top of my head. "I love your beautiful jade eyes. Most people would say they were emerald but that's not true. An emerald is too bright and sparkles nonstop. No you're eyes are definitely a jade because they're like dark, mystic stones and like you they're set in their ways. But every once in a while if the light hits them just right then it shows that those jade eyes has just as much potential to shine as bright as an emerald." Well la tee da! Where did that come from?
"And now we move into your lips." He continues.
"Well what about them?" I ask raising my eyebrow.
"They are the most beautiful pair of lips I've ever seen." 
"Have you seen a many a lips in your day, Captain?" I teased.
"Even if I have, they are still the prettiest." He leans down and lightly kisses me. "And this nose has to be the cutest one in the world." He kisses my nose. "And this neck." His lips press down on my neck and I close my eyes.
"Steve you better stop. You know what happens when you provoke me." I swallow hard as he pulls away.
"You're right I'm sorry."
"It's fine. It's my turn anyways."
"Okay, shoot."
"Well let's see. I know for sure that I love your ocean blue eyes. And I mean come on who couldn't love this hair." I take my hand and ruffle his head before I continue. "And I really love your arms, because when I'm feeling alone or upset, they're always there holding me. Even on some occasions when I wish they would leave alone."
"You know that could have been a real sentimental moment but you gotta make jokes."
I laugh him off before I continue. "But my favorite part of you has to be that beautiful hiney of yours. I mean come on who has that nice of a butt?" I cocked an eyebrow and made my trade mark smirk.
All of a sudden, his countenance change and the mood was at a serious tone. "Tasha we really have to talk. We can't just ignore our previous conversation. I meant what I said. I really think we should get married. Not because it's the easy way out for us but because it would be so much easier for "little Rogers"." I noticed his new nickname for our child but for the moment, I disregarded it until after.
I was a bit hurt. I don't know why but I just did and I felt like a child who was sitting there getting scolded. So that's exactly the way I acted.
"So what?! Are you just gonna leave me if I say no. If I reject your really crappy marriage proposal. Nice Rogers, that was a douche move!" I get up once I feel tears sting my eyes. No. I am not going to cry. Not when I'm angry with him. I go to my dresser and grab a few clothes and I throw my shoes on.
"Where are you going?" He asks.
"I don't know. Somewhere away from all this stress." I exclaim heading for the door.
"Please, don't leave. I need to know that you're safe." He follows me.
"That's the point. What if I don't feel safe here." I immediately regret those words once I see the hurt in his eyes. And I know it hurt him because I could feel it too.
"Then I guess I've not done my job." His hands were balled into fists so tight that his knuckles were white.
"Steve, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He rushes back to the bedroom. I huff, dropped my things to follow him. I look at the clock, it reads 11:16. It is too early for this.
I find him sitting on his side of the bed, staring at a picture of his mom and dad. I crawl onto the bed and wrap my arms around his shoulders from behind. I kiss his cheek and rest my head against his.
"I honored my dad so much. I mean, why shouldn't I? He fought and did everything he could to keep this country safe. But... The one thing he didn't think about keeping safe was his family. He died before I was born. My mother would tell me all these wonderful stories about what a great man he was. I'm sure most of them were true, but when I would ask about personal stuff, I could tell she was holding something back. After she died I found out the truth. I had found out that she was physically abused by my father. Her mother would constantly write to her telling her that she wasn't safe and she never would be if she didn't get out of there. But still I wanted to be like him, the good parts anyways. So I tried forever to get into the army and well, you know the story. Skipping forward to Bucky. When I lost him that was it, I finally vowed that I would put my loved ones first before anything else. And never ever would I treat my wife the way he treated my mom. Looks like I failed." What have I done?
"You didn't fail. You are nothing like him. I didn't mean what I said." I moved down and sat next to him.
"Maybe you did, but you haven't realized it yet."
"No! I only said it out of anger. I was trying to find an excuse to leave. There wasn't even a real reason to get angry. Well I mean except for the fact that you called our kid a "little Rogers". I mean seriously, why not a "little Romanoff"."
He smiled. "Sorry just speaking metaphorically."
"Okay. Metaphorically, why can't it be a girl?" I teasingly asked.
"You're right, it could be a girl, but it could be a boy too."
"We'll see about that." I say as I take one of his hands and place my own in his palm.
"You're hands."
"What about them?" I ask.
"They are my favorite part of you. So small compared to mine. So soft and so gentle. And yet they could snap a mans neck in half within a second."
A wide grin plays on my face. "You know that could have been a really sentimental moment but you gotta make jokes."
He rolls his eyes. "Very funny." He looks down at me. "Why don't you want to marry me? I thought you loved me."
"I do love you. It's just... well." I try my best to conjure up the words. "I'm scared. I don't know what to feel, what to want. I mean I look at you and see how happy you are about this and you look at our future and know exactly how it's gonna be and all I can think about is what I plan on having for dinner tomorrow night." Tears once again sting my eyes. I try to hold them back so now my eyes have a glistening effect to them. "If you marry me I feel like you would be marrying a lie. Because that's what I am, I have told so many that even I can't tell what's real and what's not." Oh boy, here come the waterworks. "You don't deserve to be tied down to someone who's like that. And I know that I definitely don't deserve you. I don't even know why you kept letting me come back."
"Because, I know you're broken inside but even broken people have a home. And I believe yours is with me." He presses his forehead to mine. By this time, my face is soaking wet and my crying sounds like hyperventilating. I bet that sounds sexy. "And if you really think all those things about yourself. If you want to clean your ledger, than the best place is to start with the truth."
"I'm scared." I whispered.
"I know, and that's okay." He was right. I needed to let it all out, I needed to let my past go and I felt like I could do that with him. Though I was afraid to let it out, I felt like no matter what, he wouldn't judge me. There would be no judgement, no condemnation. Only love and trust.
I take a deep breath and pray that I'm not going to regret this later.
"Okay, it all started when my parents died in an accidental fire. Or thats what they told me......"

Hey guys! I know this chapter was a little longer and not a lot happened. But I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it
Please vote!😘