Bittersweet

12

I loved you
even when I forgot
that you didn't
love me back.
Or at least that's what I thought.
******

"I can't fucking believe it!" Sameer strode around the room, fuming. His hair was now disheveled from the fight and his shirt wrinkled.

"Dude, it's okay calm down," Amir started, "Kaif has been going through a lot recently." His eyes met mine briefly as I sat slumped on the farthest couch.

I felt numb and really not there. I could not believe that Kaif had been running around saying that I was his fiancé. That we even had been planning a wedding.

My eyes landed on Sameer who had his hands on his hips, still fuming. No wonder he dropped me like the way he did. He thought I was "cheating" on him and had other plans with his friend.

But he didn't explain. He didn't tell me that he heard from Kaif. He should have told me. Did I look like a two timer?

My head hurt. My eyes were watery. I felt hurt.

I got up and started walking upstairs. Sameer suddenly stopped pacing and looked at me. "Are you okay?" His lip was now swollen and still bleeding. Kaif must have hit him hard. He also had a bruise forming above his cheekbone.

I looked away and avoided his eyes. "Yeah, I think I want to just lay down." My heart however rapidly beat in my chest.

He swallowed. "Of course." He looked away. "Good night Diana."

I didn't bother to reply.
*******
"I'm sorry sister," Malak said next morning. She ended up sleeping over and making sure I was okay. "I honest thought that Kaif had spoken with you and I didn't want to mess up the plan."

I stopped sipping the milky coffee that sat in my lap. "I thought you would know, out of everyone Malak." My words came out a little more rough than I intended. But I was hurt. Had everyone just taken Kaif's word of it and ran?

She sighed. "It makes sense why Sameer flipped out when he heard the news. You should have seen how he acted when Kaif announced that you guys were going to get married."

I tuned to look at her. "What did he do?" I hated how despite all of this, Sameer's name still made my heart flutter.

Malak took a sip of her own cup of coffee and cleared her throat. "Well we were eating dinner at that restaurant that you love when Kaif announced the lie. Sameer abruptly got up, knocking down his drink and the candles. The tablecloth started to catch fire. He didn't even notice his shirt starting to singe." She laughed at that. "He looked so angry and at the same time lost. I had to throw some water on him for him to finally notice where he was." She shook her head. "Kaif looked so smug though. I should have known."

I took a deep breath in. This was a lot to take in. It was at least good to know that Sameer was just as shocked as I was. I could see how he thought I was playing him. My mind started to rethink every interaction after that. He was trying very hard not to come and shout at me. It was honestly impressive how much he held it in.

"I see." I said just before taking a sip of my coffee.

******
Going to work was actually hard. The feeling that me and Kaif were no longer even friends actually affected me. His actions of last night were starting to seep in and I remember the last look he gave me. . It hurt what he did.

It honestly stung a little to know he won't waltz in those cafe doors every morning and demand that I serve him first. Maybe it was my fault that I "Led Him On".

I shook my head as I poured the third cup of coffee of the morning. He was wrong. He did not have to go behind my back and expect me to go along with it. Especially knowing that I was interested in Sameer. He knew. He have had to know. There was no way or why else would he sneak around, not even letting me know. He wanted to rope me in and expect everyone to clap for us.

"Are you okay sugarplums!?" Wazeriah tapped the counter behind me and I whipped around.

I sighed as I capped the cup. "Yeah."

She scrunched up her nose. "You don't look that great."

I shrugged and started to bag the bakery. My head was not in the right place and I would love to escape my job. I would like to be anywhere alone. To process this all.

Wazeriah sighed. "I'm sorry that you're going through this.  I wish I could help."

I smiled weakly at her. "You could help by staying here. It's nice to have you as company even if you're sitting far away."

She laughed and pulled out a book from her tote bag. "Well that's why I packed this cute little novel with me!" She shook the book just above her head and I laughed. "Can I also please have a hot latte as well!?"

I nodded. "Of course."

******

Sameer:

I paced around the apartment. All I could think was about Diana. It's all I could see and dream about.

It was concerning. Did I need therapy? Should I phone the doctor? Jump off the tallest building?

I have lost my best friend and possibly everyone else in my life.  I was hoping that the betrayal, despite the pain, would end my affection for that woman.

But oh no. It seems that it has reeled me into a dark corner and it has made me beg for mercy.

I was fully aware that sitting in my car and watching her in the cafe all morning  long was not normal. Making excuses to find myself in her proximity was not normal. Making calls to pay her college tuition was not normal. What her eyes did to me was not fucking normal.

I was aware.

And it hurt like a fucking bitch when Kaif had smugly announced that Diana was marrying him. Actually no it fucking killed me when he announced it.

But did I stay away? How could I? I watched her, waiting for her to run into my arms. To tell me she was sorry, to tell me she wasn't in love with Kaif. But no, she did none of that. She let me live in agony.

I was aching everyday. It was probably what I deserved anyway for believing that asshat.

Falling for the poor little college girl. When Father had girls, from prestigious families might i add, lined up ready to call if I needed a wife. It was fucking madness.

Now, however, I could rest. I could breathe. She is going to be mine again.

And no one was going to stand in the fucking way.
*******

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