Cracked To the dredges

Chapter 4: Bloody Shards Shatter onto the Ground

        I was astonished, not that they were doing it, but that it was in my bedroom. Really, like of all places my nice clean washed bed had to receive the brunt of it. My poor bed sheets. Poor babies. They would have to be burned after this. Suddenly, I was interrupted out of my thoughts when Arin came over to punch or push me away, but accidentally brushing his arm against mine.

      I felt sparks, tingles, desire, happiness, anger. My world had exploded and I was left in the after effects of the blinding light. Mate. He was my mate. The euphoria I felt bubbling in me was cut short by the tremendous pain as he punched me in the stomach making me fall.

          Wait. How could this happen? How could my mate punch me? Out of all the people in the world, how could he punch me, emphasis on me? I was about to get up when I heard footsteps come up stairs. Taking in their naked appearance I saw Griffin stare at me with rage, contorting his soft features, making him look sinister.

          He kicked me, not too hard but as soon as he instigated it, his friends followed. They hit me, they ripped of hair, giving me cuts with their unclipped nails, beating me down. I could feel my head swelling, dark salty crimson blood spilling out. I was wading in pain, them hitting my knees and beating my breasts down. I smiled and shivered as they continued their game, as my heart beat slowed,as I was claimed by the cool reprieve of darkness.

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        I woke up around midnight again on the cold wood floor. They had left me here. I stumbled over my ankles, crawling towards my room not in the condition to get up. My room was empty except for the messed up sheets, the evidence of their sexual act. I looked at my face in the mirror. Wow, I looked horrible, I felt tears coming. My face was purple and blue, even my eyes battered with yellow pus forming at the sides.

        My knees and arms had gashes and even my breasts were covered with bruises. As I felt the energy out of me flow, the energy to stay happy, to endure to fight, pearls started dropping on the tile floor. I wept, I wept for my loneliness, my solitude. I did not weep for losing my mate, not for anything. I wept for myself, for mom, for dad, I wept for the hole in my heart which I did not know how to repair. 

          I hit my arms on the floor repeatedly letting the blood flow, opening scabs, smiling insanely at the window.  I had lost it, I hit the mirror until it cracked with one blow with my hands. I smiled and smiled after I cried. For once, I had let it all out instead of bottling it up. I had done it. I had exploded.

               After all this, I cleaned myself up, I cleaned my skin, taking herbs out of my cabinet, healing herbs I ground up. I cleaned the cuts with moss, bandaging them with cotton after applying antiseptic. I got in the shower, cleaning a limb at a time, taking time to lather my wounds in turmeric which would heal them quickly enough. The cuts would heal soon enough .After shampooing I put on sweat pants and a full sleeved black t-shirt. 

             I would leave, I would leave not for revenge but to leave. I would leave for myself, for the betterment of myself. I would leave to heal, to heal my mind which had once been innocent and now not. Innocence had been embracing the inevitable, making it a cycle of life, but since I could no longer embrace or endure pain in ignorance I would move on. I had lost innocence and i would never get it back. 

               I made a plan logically as I had a clear headed mind. Sophomore year was ending, there was one more month left. I could either endure for this one month and leave or stay at the orphanage for a week and take my exams next week and leave for college. I had taken the SATs, ACT, and APs early and had submitted applications having been accepted into Wharton Business School--prestigious in the US and since it was in Philly, it would be far enough away from here. 

                   The stupid thought of shifting into wolf form since my 15th birthday was tomorrow and running into another territory entered but exited immediately. If I accidentally ran into another territory I was asking for death and since I did not want to be some highschool graduate who did not have educated qualifications, I decided to take the educated route. I would go to college and I would get a job like everybody else. I did not want this stupid life of not going to college and depending on these people in servitude my whole life.

 Whatever had happened last night, I stopped looking at Griffin as a brother. Whatever had happened, Arin was a stranger and I was nonexistent.