Who I Truly Am

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I wasn't able to sleep for a few days after Barnes left. Something deep within me felt like I should've tried harder to convince him to stay. I looked up what I was feeling on google the night he left and read a lot of explanations from hundreds of different people, some claiming to be Doctors and they had the same explanation; Love. Longing. I chuckled when I thought about the possibility of me being in love with someone period, let alone someone who I barely even know. Then again, I knew more about him then he knew about himself so that had to count for something. Nah. I shook it off and focused more on the longing part, that could be what it was. Maybe I was 'longing' for what could've been, I guess? I don't know. I shut it out and try to sleep. Days of no sleep and yet, I'm not tired. I head up to the roof to try to clear my mind. 

I stare up at the night sky from the edge of the building before looking down and contemplating if I should jump or not just to see what happens. I decide against it and sit down, looking back at the sky. A beam of rainbow light beams down from the sky onto the roof, leaving behind the man who calls himself Thor and a weird print on the ground. I stand up quickly as he walks toward me, his voice is deep and louder than I'm used to, "I've been told I could find you here. I'm Thor." He puts his hand out to shake mine so I cautiously do so. "I'm Agent X." He looks at me inquisitively, "Agent X, huh?" I nod, "Yeah, if you know my real one, feel free to tell me." He chuckles proudly, "Why, you are Cassandra Hopkins, the original Super Soldier." I'm almost shocked when he says that name but part of me recognized it. I also put it out of my head so it was weird to hear someone actually say it. "How do you know that?" He chuckles again, "I know all, for I am a god!" I roll my eyes and cross my arms, he clears his throat, "Fine. A friend told me, he is all knowing." I sigh, "Okay then, what do you want?" He points at the sky, "We have a situation with my brother, Loki, and have been told you are the only one who can fix it." I squint in disbelief, "You need me to go to space with you because your brother needs to be dealt with? You're a god, deal with him yourself." He chuckles at the word 'space', "No you'd be going to Asgard. And Loki is locked in his cell and needs some convincing. We've seen what your mind can do so we need you to do your little mind trick on him." I look around in disbelief, "My 'mind trick'? I don't have one of those. In case you haven't heard, the serum gave me immortality and super strength, not magical powers." He chuckles, "You really have no idea who you are, do you? You have the power of the mind, that is why you can not be swayed so easy. You can learn more if you come with me." I think for a few moments before agreeing, "Fine. I'll go but I'm not killing anyone." He chuckles, "Thats fine, I'll handle that if need be." He wraps an arm around me and puts his hammer in the air before that rainbow beam comes back and I close my eyes as it sucks us up inside of it. 

I lose my footing as we land and fall into him, he smiles down at me, "Welcome to Asgard." I look around and see a man with a huge sword standing in the middle of the room. He smirks back at me before turning back around and staring out what appears to be a large window of some sort. 

We make our way to a large palace, he takes me to a ridiculously large room where an older woman, in what looks like a long fancy robe, is standing. She throws her hands up, "Ah! She's here. It looked like it could go either way." She pointed at her head before looking at me, "He has way of persuading the unpersuadable." I scoff and cross my arms, "So where is this Loki person?" She shakes her head, "No no dear, you're not ready for that yet. We need to unlock your mind first." She swiftly moves her hands around in a circle until a floating key appears, I look over at Thor, who looks equally as confused before I feel a hand on my back and my mind goes blank.

A memory of this palace appears like a dream. I'm running around with what looks like a young Thor and another child with black hair before a man drags me away. I see a man holding a crying woman as they watch me being taken.  I heard one of the boys yell, "Freya!" As they went out of view. I come to quickly and look around for a moment, I see the woman and Thor standing over me, when they notice I'm looking back at them, they back away from me. "What was that?!" I ask as I sit up. The woman has a gentle tone as she says, "That was your last memory of being in the palace, dear." I look around in disbelief, "Is this some sort of weird joke?" She shook her head, "No, I'm trying to let you see who you truly are." I'm even more confused, "I'm Cassandra Hopkins, right?" I look over to Thor who finally speaks up, "Vör thought it would be better if she explained it." I look back over at her, she sighs deeply as if she's about to tell me a lot more then I bargained for so I prepare myself, "You're Freya. You're the goddess of love, fertility, battle and death." I chuckle, "You guys are ridiculous." I go to stand up before she pushes me back down with one swift movement, "This may be hard to believe but it is imperative that you know. You have a lot of good coming to you in the near future but you also have a lot of bad as well." She looks over at Thor in confusion, "Who is Barnes?" My eyes widen as I look over at Thor, who seems as lost as she does. She turns back to me, "He is of significance to you. Why is this?" I shake my head, "I don't know. I only just met him." She raises an eyebrow, "No you've been drawn to him since-" She closes her eyes for a moment before continuing, "1943. I see you watching some older gentlemen from a far when this Barnes man passes by you, he catches your eye and your heart flutters." She keeps her eyes closed and looks deep in thought, Thor and I just look at one another in silence, "You've been tracking him for years. He... intrigues you, it seems." I scoff, "He doesn't intrigue me, he ju-" She cuts me off, "Yes he does. I can see your future with him, he is going to love you and you are going to love him. I even see a child." I scoff, "Erskine took that from me long ago, I can't have children." She opens her eyes, which startles me, "Have you ever tried to?" I give her a weird look, "No, I haven't." She closes her eyes again, "Oh, yes, I see this Erskine fellow. I also see another short gentlemen who tried to brainwash you but you can't brainwash a goddess. Not with human technology. They didn't make you barren, they just assumed they did and that if they told you such, nothing would ever tie you down. Which was a slippery slope because what if you did decide to get physical with someone? Foolish of them." She opens her eyes again, "You are considered the first 'Winter Soldier' but they mistook your ability for something that Erskine created. He really just activated what was already there." I look at Thor, "Did you know about this?" He nods slowly, Vör continues, "You were shunned to Earth and stripped of your memories the night you were abducted by those people. You were banished to Alfheim out of fear for your safety long ago then shunned from there to Earth because the leader was threatened by how powerful you were becoming." I let it sink in for a moment before laughing and screaming, "What the fuck is going on?!" I look back at her, "If this is all true and I have magical powers, why have I never used them?" She sighs, "Because you didn't know they were there." She sucks her teeth, "You know I thought you being back home would be a lot more pleasant than it is." She looks over to Thor and shakes her head before looking back at me. I look over at Thor then back at her, "Wait, is he my brother?" I look at him, "Are you my brother?" (I know Odin is not actually Freya's father in norse mythology but for this story he is.) He looks over at Vör, she nods for him to go ahead, "Yes. We have the same father but not the same mother, so technically half." I can't even process what's going on right now. I notice Thor's hammer on the floor nearby so I walk up to it quickly before he's able to stop me. If I can pick this up, I'll believe what they are saying is true. If I can't, I'll raise hell until I'm beamed back home and left alone. I sigh deeply the let out a sharp breath before grabbing the handle of the hammer and lifting it with ease. I hear Thor gasp as I turn around to face them, I hand his hammer to him then look to Vör, "Okay, I believe you. Tell me what to do." 

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