How the world works

22

Tommy is gone. Tubbo feels like someone ripped out his heart. His best friend. What was even the last thing he told him? He can't remember. Niki put him in her spruce boat and had rowed him back home. He was greeted by a disoriented Ranboo who was missing pages from his book again and an overjoyed Michael who had missed him dearly. He hugged his family and went to Nikki's bakery at her request. She cooked him a feast. He ate a single loaf of bread and felt like he would burst. But he didn't stop. He was still afraid that there might not be a meal for a while.

It was mostly baked things or things that go in the oven. Baked potatoes, bread, cookies, baked salmon, cake, a rotisserie chicken, etc. But there was other stuff too. Sandwiches, apples, honey toast, melons and berries too. Micheal splashed around in a bowl of soup and Ranboo picked at some steak. After everyone was finished, Niki brought out milk for everyone to help it go down.

No one asks. No one pushes or prods. They all let him just eat. Some people come and go. Techno with a book Tubbo wants to forget. Punz with an apology and a really REALLY awkward hug. Quackity came by with some armor to help him feel safe. Puffy brought a beeloon which is to say, a bee on a lead. Instant happiness. Micheal held on to it for him. Jack Manifold came by, ordered a stack of bread, awkwardly acknowledged Tubbo, made a corny joke, and left. Tubbo hardly paid most of them any attention. He just... ate.

He had eaten so much, Tubbo thought he'd be sick. He was sure of it, in fact. He looks out the window and thinks about a time when he and Tommy had a pork eating contest. Tommy had won. Now Tubbo lives a pork-free life for his son's sake, and Tommy was.... he was gone. Silent tears begin to fall. Then Niki spoke up.

"I know you just ate cake, cookies and berries. But I did make dessert." She says. Tubbo sits up a bit. There's always room for dessert. He wipes his nose. He can't do this now. Not here. He has to be strong. Ranboo would carry all of their problems together if he could and not say a word. But Tubbo knows he can't. And Michael absolutely could never carry this burden. So he'll carry what he can and cope later. Maybe Puffy can offer some therapy sessions or something. 

Niki pulls out a tin from under the counter and sets it down. Tubbos eyes go wide. It's a pumpkin pie. Suddenly he's not in the warm bakery. He's in a cold cell, starvation setting in. He's just signed his life away or something. He doesn't even know what. He was so hungry.... and he was there. Dream. Holding him up on his knees by his hair, forcing mouthful after mouthful of pie into his mouth. So sweet, so good. So much better than raw potatoes. 

The worst part wasn't the humiliation of everyone seeing him like this. Nor was it him trading who knows what for pie. It wasn't Dream pulling his hair. It wasn't the misery, or the tears, or the cell. Well,maybe it was the tears. They were tears of joy. When the orange slop was forced in his mouth. When dreams gloved hands forced his mouth up and down in a chewing manner. Tubbo was glad. It tasted sweet. It filled his stomach. He had no regrets in this moment here and now.

Tubbo falls backwards over his chair and screams, kicking and thrashing at nothing. Ranboo drops to his side to console him.

"It's ok. It's ok. We didn't know you were scared of pumpkins." Ranboo says softly. Tubbo can't help laughing at this absurdity. The trauma awareness festival comes to mind. An off camera event where they all learned ways to help people who were traumatized, alone, panicking, or scared. TAPS. One way to break someone from a panic attack is to say something absolutely random and so weird that they might instantly stop to process what they heard. He's glad to see that it works.

Still crying, he laughs. Michael comes and hugs him as Niki quickly tries to put the pie away.

Punz, Skeppy, and BadBoyHalo ran in to see what happened. Punz barely glanced at the pie being taken away and knew exactly what happened. 

"Dream forced him to sign a book for food. It was pumpkin pie, and he was force fed it and told it was a reward." He says gently to Niki, just quiet enough that Tubbo couldn't hear. Skeppy, who's sitting on bads shoulder, tells Bad the same thing more or less.

"Don't worry, Tubbs. If anyone sees him, we'll kill him. He won't hurt anyone ever again." Niki assures him. Tubbo doesn't know how to tell her that's not why he's crying. So he just holds his family close and cries. He cries for pumpkin pie and raw potatoes. For broken glass and lava. For lost hope and broken spirits. And most of all, he cries for Tommy.