~my poems~

I can't handle change

Realising that everything changes
but it somehow stays the same;
like a bad version of the original.
I don't know where I belong,
maybe in the past
where I at least knew what I was doing.

Agreeing without understanding
the consequences of my own actions;
it's like I'm a psychopath on the loose.
Like I lost control
of the boat I was navigating.
Do this, do that;
No.
I want to crash my boat into a big wave,
I want to learn how to breathe underwater,
a place where silence meets my soul,
where my body and my mind
can live and rest alone.

I can't handle change.
Hate adapting to change.
I don't want things to change.
Cause every time it does
things go downhill.

I can barely survive a day alone,
what's the future going to be like?
Trapped in my own mind.
Trapped with my own thoughts.
How, if nothing new occurs?

Sleepless I breathe through my lungs;
the lungs I can barely breathe through.
"I wonder what they think
when they see me panicking."
When my eyes won't meet theirs
and my body only moves because it has to.

I can't handle change.