I finally figured out
what was wrong with me.
But how do I change that
without changing me?
I used to love being alone
because sometimes
I needed me-time.
Now I feel alone
even with people around me.
Like I'm just there; existing.
My mind is exhausted,
I can't get any sleep;
even when I sleep
it's never enough.
I feel like I annoy everyone,
that when I speak,
it bothers them.
And I get that
since I annoy myself too.
I used to be my happy place;
my safe space.
What happened?
How did nothing change
while I changed the most?
A book is the only thing
that keeps my mind clear.
But I can't always read books,
I have a life to live.
If I could just skip moments.
My head tricks me into reading
people's mimics wrong.
They don't all hate me;
I know that.
I misinterpret everything
and that's how everything starts.
It's like my mind
is being controlled
but not by me.
Like somebody is constantly watching,
controlling and judging
what I do.
I'm burnt out;
just exhausted.
It annoys me that I feel like this.
I'm a happy person;
I always laugh.
I love being with people
but since they don't,
I lost the will too.
I can't describe this feeling,
I am just alone and empty.
YOU ARE READING
~my poems~
PoetryPoems I write that mean the world to me:) I am trying my best to put my thoughts into pages of words for you to read. 🤟🏻love you
