Chapter 7 Part 1

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Chapter 7

Present

            It's nearing 6:00am. The hospital room is empty, but someone has left a familiar grease-stained bakery bag on the table—Jackson's favorite breakfast pastries. I hope he is up for eating when he wakes. The curtains are still drawn over the windows, but the morning sunlight peeks through the space between them. 

            "How are you feeling?" Jackson asks.

            "I'm tired. How about you?"

            "I think I've been tired for months. Can't remember the last time I wasn't exhausted." The few hours of sleep he just had doesn't seem to have made much of a difference; he sounds as wiped out as he looks. His eyes are bloodshot and the scruff on his chin is growing darker. His usually perfectly combed hair is messed and I can see a few imprints on his skin from the creases in his pillow.

            "Wouldn't it be glorious to get a solid eight hours?" I muse. "And after last night our entire family is going to be feeling as miserable as we are." I laugh and Jackson laughs with me.

"I think it's good that they get a taste of what our life has been like lately. Those tiny chairs are going to make all of them so sore." He drags his hands down his face. "We could insist they all go home and get some rest?" His voice lifts to let me know it's more of a question than a statement.

"I already tried. They aren't having it. Caleb gave me a death glare when I suggested it earlier." I rub my eyes, feeling the scratch of my lids against the sensitive surface. "You've learned how they are. No one can make them do anything they don't want to do." Jackson chuckles and folds his arms across his chest, letting his head fall to the side.

"When do you think your mom will be here?" I ask. He looks up at the clock on the wall and does some math in his head. He shrugs his shoulders. "She should be here soon, as long as her flight doesn't get delayed and she has no problems with her layover. Sometimes things get messed up when you book last minute."

"I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that waiting room. I'd love to see how your mother handles the men of my family. She might be the only woman I know who won't be intimidated by them," I joke. He smiles proudly. "And your sister should be here tomorrow."

"Yeah, she had to make some arrangements with the family she works for. When you look after kids like she does, you can't just take off without any notice. I know she'll get here as soon as she can.

"I wonder if my father came alone or if Angelique came with him." I try to act casual, but Jackson gives me a warning look.

"Maddy, leave the poor guy alone."

Even though no one is talking about it, I know that Angelique does more for my father than just take care of his house. I move around a little, trying to get more comfortable. It only takes a second for me to give up and accept that as long as we're here, the aches and pains won't go away no matter what position I'm in. "I wonder when he'll finally cave and just tell us what we already know." I blow out an exasperated breath and hear Jackson laugh beside me.

"Give the guy a break. If he's hooking up with the housekeeper, good for him. He'll drop his not-so-stealth bomb and tell us when he's ready." I swat at Jackson's arm, but he pulls it away and points to the bag of treats. I reach for it and toss it in his direction, the sweet smell causing my stomach to turn.  

             "It has to be lonely for him," he says quietly, reaching into the bag and pulling out a powder covered pastry. "Do you remember how miserable you were when I went to training camp?" He takes a bite, closing his eyes as if it tastes heavenly. I nod my head. Training camp was terrible.

            "It's not my fault. I thought I could handle it, and I really was trying." I look over to Jackson for some support, but his head is tipped back as he chews the flaky pastry. I ball up a napkin and toss it at him and he catches it perfectly, returning to his treat as if nothing happened. 

            "You were a champ through that mini rookie camp, but training camp took you out." He laughs and earns himself another crumpled up napkin, this one to the side of his head.

            "I don't understand how it works," I say, leaning back again. "Why does time go by so quickly when you are with the person you love, but it seems to drag on at a torturous rate when you're apart? It makes no sense." I shake my head when Jackson tears a piece from his breakfast and offers it to me.

            "It makes perfect sense, Rookie. It's pheromones. Being around the person you love causes a million chemical reactions and those include speeding up your heart rate and making your thoughts race. It creates the illusion of time passing quickly because you are actually living more in those moments—you are more alive when you are with the one you love." It's complete bullshit, but I love the way his mind works. Before I can respond he chuckles and remarks, "People probably shouldn't bring me sugar when I haven't had enough sleep. I'm starting to come up with some pretty crazy ideas."

            A noise in the hallway reminds me that we are in a busy hospital. I almost forget that there are other people in here and that while time seems not to matter in our room, some people might actually be sleeping.

            "I didn't think we were going to make it through that camp. I hated how it felt to watch you get on that plane. My stomach still hasn't recovered." I shift positions, scooting down so I can rest my head. "I thought walking away from you while we were dating was hard, but watching you walk away from me and into your new life almost killed me."

            He stops eating and watches me, the sadness of that time visible in his eyes. The room is silent as we both take a moment to remember how close we came to pushing each other away.   

            "I guess our story could have ended very differently." I reach over and lightly sweep a bit of powdered sugar away from the corner of his mouth with my finger.

            He waits for me to finish before shaking his head. "That's what I was trying so hard to get you to understand. I was never willing to lose you, but if I had to let you go so that you could be happy, I would have done it."

            "I feel the same way, which is why I wasn't going to let my responsibilities take you away from what made you happy." My hand reaches out and Jackson takes it. "I'm just glad we figured it out before we let it pull us apart."

            "I think we needed that time to make sure this life together is really what we want. Everything moved so fast for us, it took something like that to slow us down and give us a chance to choose each other again." I nod my head. Our road here may not always have been smooth, but somehow we have managed to keep moving in the same direction.



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