Heartstopper stories

If I could do it all over again

This idea was requested by @heartstopper030. I hope you like it!

Content warnings: Fighting

Nick is at uni and Charlie visited him over the weekend. But while he was sitting on the train he got a text from an anonymous person with a photo of Nick and a girl looking very flirty with each other. 

Nick's pov

"Fucking grow up Charlie." I scoffed. Charlie widened his eyes. "I need to grow up? Why don't you go to whoever her name is and fuck her? That is what you wanted for a long time now right?" Charlie shot back at me. I felt myself getting really angry. "You have no right to say that to me. I haven't been anything but loyal to you. You can't keep me from seeing my friends, you know." "Yeah right. Friends." Charlie said while doing sarcastic air quotes with his hands. I stared at him. How could he ever think so horribly of me? I calmed myself down for a moment and tried to have a normal conversation again. "Charlie, let's just talk about it. We'll both feel horrible if we don't talk this out." I said while I sat down in a chair. Charlie sighed and sat opposite me. "Okay." 

"What did you see?" I asked him. Charlie sighed again and squeezed his hands into fists. "You know what I saw. I just told you." He said. "Okay, so you saw me with a girl. But nothing happened right?" Charlie scoffed. I frowned. What was he on about? "Don't act so fucking innocent. You were all over her. It's fine if you don't love me anymore, but just break up with me before you try to get off with someone else." Charlie snapped. "Mate, I didn't do anything with her. We're fucking friends. I can't even have friends anymore? You're making all this shit up for nothing. Honestly, I think you're the one who wants to break up and tries to do it by making some shit up about me." Charlie's face was expressionless now, which was even scarier than his angry or sad face. "I wish I never met you." He said.

I stiffened. Never in my life would I have expected Charlie to say something like that to me. Did I really do something horrible? Should I have pushed that girl away instead of staying friends? I knew her since we were little. No, fuck that. I am allowed to hang out with the people I want to hang out with. And I wasn't all over her. I pointed at the door. "Get out." I said calmly. Charlie didn't move. "Get out! Get out of my fucking room" I was yelling now. Charlie's eyes watered before he walked out the door. "Fine. Don't think I'll ever come back here again." He said with a shaky voice. "GOOD." I screamed and slammed the door shut. I regretted it instantly. What the fuck just happened?

-Next day at uni-

After Charlie had left my room I felt sick to my stomach. We had fights before, but never like this. I mean there was that one fight before I went to uni, but even then we never said anything like this to each other. Charlie had gone back home and I was hanging with some friends I met here at uni. Although they were a great distraction, I couldn't keep my mind off Charlie. I kept wondering if he really meant what he said. I thought we were each other's whole world and that nothing could break us up, but I guess I was wrong. Not that we're actually broken up. We're just taking a little break until we can talk this out, which I'm sure will happen soon. I tried to text Charlie a couple of times, but he didn't respond. I guess he really needed some space.

I hung out with Emily, the girl Charlie and I were fighting about, more. It reminded me why I hang out with her in the first place. She's just really cool and as I said before, we have known each other for a long time. After my mum, she was the first person I told about me being bisexual and Charlie and mine's relationship. Emily was really cool about it and supported me through the hard times. We don't talk that much. She's very busy at Higgs and has other friends too, but it's nice to see her when I can. I do feel guilty about hanging out with her tough. These past few weeks I've been missing Charlie a lot. He's like a limp or some other part of my body I can't live without. But maybe it's good that we're taking some time apart. There has been a lot of frustration these past few months and we just needed a break.