I must admit, Lethi thought this thing of bringing me here through. I can’t even run away with hopes to clear my head. This is fucking frustrating. When I get to the lobby, I come across a drunk couple. I ask them where they are coming from and they direct me to a club called Marquee Singapore Nightclub. When I get there, I don’t even admire the place or look around. Instead the minute I spot the deserted bar, I head there. Muttering a greeting to the barman, I order 4 shots which I down really fast and then ask for a glass of whiskey on the rocks. The barman is serving me with no judgment on his face. Great. I don’t need that right now.
Now back to the issue at hand, how can one just accept the fact the guy he is falling for has killed someone before and caused another to commit suicide? How can you be calm after hearing news like that? I want to break down and scream like crazy, just to let go of the emotions piling inside me but I don’t want people thinking I am crazy or anything. I am sure they will generalize my behaviour and say all South Africans are crazy.
“Do you want to talk about it?” the barman starts off and I just stare at him. “It’s not usual for us to get a customer like you so early in the morning. Nobody comes in at 5 am and drink like that, like you wanna forget a lot of things going on in your life.”
I sigh. “Is there a barman-customer confidentiality?” I ask and he laughs before nodding. “What do you usually do when the guy you’re falling for suddenly reveals to you that he has somehow killed two people?”
He whistles. “Damn, that’s a lot for one to take in. Anyways 2 deaths doesn’t necessarily means he is a serial killer or danger to society. Are his reasons for the deaths valid?” I roll my eyes.
“Killing shouldn’t even be substantiated unless the person was an abuser of some sort.”
“But his reasons are valid, right?” I huff and nod. “Before he revealed things like these to you, did you think he was a danger to you or did you fear him?”
“Fear, no. intimidated, yes. The guy has that sex appeal that can be a bit scary but it’s one of the things that attracted me to him. He commands attention and respect when he walks into a room. He has that thing, that unexplainable factor that swept me off my feet.”
“The deaths weren’t connected to you in any way, so you shouldn’t hold them against him. And I am sure they happened before you guys got together.”
“That’s not important.” He laughs.
“I have met many like you. You’re in denial and you don’t wanna admit your feelings for this guy. You are afraid that this revelation hasn’t taken away what you feel for him and you feel like you’re supposed to hate him or something along those lines.”
“Are you a bartender or therapist?”
He laughs again. He has that soothing laugh that tells you that everything is going to be okay somehow. “I think every bartender has to have that shrink bone in him or her because sometimes you are required to heal a drunkard with just your words. I am sure you are getting healed by our talk.” He grins at me and I just roll my eyes because he is right but I am not going to spell it out. “Since I am not going to get my answer, I will just ask you some questions. Where are you from?”
“South Africa.”
“Oww, I have some friends over there. They live in this area called Upington.”
“I know that place. Not that I have been to it before but I know it. It is in Northern Cape, the biggest province in South Africa but is one of the less populated provinces. People don’t like the big hole that much.”
“The big hole?” he questions and I nod.
“In the 19thcentury, it got known for its diamond mines that were hang-dug that time. There is a museum there now and it displays some uncut priceless diamonds.”
“How haven’t they been stolen?” I laugh.
“A place with that much diamonds wouldn’t be unguarded. Anyways I am from Durban, in a province called KwaZulu Natal.”
“Like the Zulu king?” he asks and I nod with a smile. If he knew I was friends with the Zulu princess, I am sure he wouldn’t believe me. “What’s your name?”
“Lindsay and you?”
“Zane.”
After that, we just engage in light conversation while he keeps the drinks coming. He even advises me of places I can visit while I am in Singapore. I don’t even know how long I will be here but I will surely check out the places he has suggested. What is more interesting is that this hotel has its own shopping mall called Shoppes which consist of all the expensive clothing brands which most South African make counterfeits of.
“My shift has ended, Lindsay. In fact it ended 30 minutes ago. I was just enjoying your company.”
I pout. “What time is it?”
“7:30 am.”
“My God. That’s late. I guess I should settle the bill then.” I pat on my pockets and then it dawns me, I didn’t bring my wallet and even if I did, it has only rands in it. “How does one get out of this situation?”
Zane laughs. “Don’t worry. Do you have your key card with you?” I nod and hand it over to him. He then scans it and brings it back. “One of the benefits of the Orchid suite. I hope we can do this sometime again, maybe then you will bring your mystery man. This was cool. Till next time.” He winks at me. My heart reaches out to hug him. I down my third glass of whiskey and carry my drunk self towards the suite. Getting there, I find a furious Lethi pacing up and down barking out orders to whoever he is talking to on the phone. I swear I see some smoke coming out of his ears. I am not lying. Drama. I just roll my eyes as I place my key card on the table near the door. That seems to grab his attention. He looks at me as he ends the call.
“Where have you been?” he asks.
“I don’t have time for your seriousness right now. I just wanna sleep. Too much alcohol intake.” I strip off to my underwear and throw myself on the comfortable king sized bed.
…
The hangover that strikes me when I wake up hits hard. Why did I have to drink so hard so early in the day? I am just as dramatic as Lethi but is the worst. Turning around, I spot a juice or something that resembles it on the bedside table. I figure that’s my hangover cure. I crawl to it and down it fast before I can overthink. It is bitter and smells bad but I know it will get the job done. My eyes travel around the room and I spot an uncomfortable looking Lethi sleeping on the couch. Serves his right. I get up from the bed, stretch my body a bit and then make the bed. I know what will rid me of all this fatigue. A good cold shower. I shower, taking my time and just thinking about everything that has happened since I got here in Singapore. It’s a lot for someone to take in but in a way, I trust Lethi more now that he has told me about this. Before, he had a special place in my heart. Now he owns half of it. It’s true when they say honesty is the best policy.
Stepping out of the shower, I feel refreshed already. I lotion using the hotel’s cosmetics and walk to the closet. I am shocked to find two new outfits waiting for me. I guess Lethi organized them or something. I put on the mint green flap pocket shirt & drawstring waist shorts and black metal décor slides. I guess my shower woke him up because I find him seated on the bed. He pats on the space next to him and I have no choice but to listen and go sit next to him. There is no need to put on a show.
“I know I scared you earlier on but I had to get that out of the way in order for us to have a healthy relationship.” He starts off and I just give him the platform to say whatever is on his mind or heart. “I love transparency from the beginning and I know I don’t practice what I preach because I wasn’t honest with you. Truth be told, I didn’t anticipate my feelings for you. When I first saw you, I was attracted to you, physically. So I thought fucking you will clear my mind and I will go back to being the loyal loving husband but that didn’t happen. You fucked up my ‘perfect life’. After having you for the first time, I knew I wasn’t going to let you go. Coming to your apartment was just something I decided upon that minute and just went for it before I could stop myself. The way you handled yourself when you saw me together with my wife, it made my heart swell, even though it nearly stopped beating because I thought I would never see you again. It was that moment I fell in love with you.” say what now?
“I know you won’t believe me and you have every right not to. I haven’t been truthful with you from the beginning. In a way, my subconscious convinced me that you reminded me of Cholo and I believed it until I realized that you two were completely different people. With Cholo, yes I loved him but I was never in love with him and I didn’t fight for him enough, I just continued loving him in secret. I now know that I will never hid you. I will love you honestly and openly, consequences be damned. Nobody is going to stop us from being together. When we get back to SA, I am going to introduce you to my whole family and my wife.”
WHAAAATTTT!
