Marwa walks beside me quietly, her face filled with concern. she looks me up and down
"haram, you should really lower your gaze you know," I said because annoyed marwa was better than worried marwa.
"astgfar'allah. I'm looking at you to see if you got hurt, you shouldn't have run off like that yesterday" she turns her head away from me. "idiot" she mumbles
"you're the idiot," I said trying to repress my grin.
"what happened yesterday Jabil?" i didn't want to answer so i changed the subject
"You know I thought those flowers you crocheted on your hijab were really creative,"
"You said they were the ugliest thing you've ever had to see," she says scoffing. Damn it! I did think that I probably said it to her once. I can't believe she remembered.
"You have a really good memory," I said. Ya Allah everything coming out of my mouth sounds so stupid.
"if you're trying to change the subject you're doing an awful job" I pick up my speed a little and wince with the pain.
"If you're talking about that guy then you don't have to worry about him much, he can't see you again" I meant that. I saw him when he lay there on the floor and people were helping him up. The guy couldn't see where he was going. I don't think he can see. Hamza is just too strong to actually be a 14-year-old boy.
"Did you kill him?" She says putting her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened. Her eyes were light brown in the sun.
"Jabil?" she says again and i close my eyes and move forward.
"Do I look like I can kill someone?" I asked rolling my eyes and moving forward. "He just can't see anymore he got a beating that he deserved" he doesn't need his eyes anyways. A man who is going to use his eyes for such evil things is better off without them.
I stop to take a breath and then continue walking faster. Hamza sees me from the distance but I wave him off so he doesn't approach me and try to help. I didn't want Marwa to know. I was ashamed that I couldn't take care of that prick alone but I was a little relieved knowing he won't be able to see Marwa again.
I see Hamza waiting in front of the school door. I let Marwa pass me and the second she goes in I lean on the wall. I hold over the wound feeling it throb more now. Hamza comes closer and smacks my head. "I hate to be that friend but I don't think you should be here in this state"
"Aren't you the same friend who said, "only quitters are losers?" I said and rubbed the back of my head where he hit because even his jocking slaps hurt.
"Let's go," he says putting my hand over his shoulder again. It made it easier to walk he takes me past my yard and I take out the key and tell him I can continue alone. "Thank you," I said
"Just stay in bed loser I'll watch over Marwa on the way home" I nod and try to sneak into the house quietly. I tiptoe across the sala
"Mash'Allah, now you're not even listening to me anymore" I hear my mother say from the kitchen and I feel my soul leap out of my body.
"Did you have to scare me like that?" I said sitting on the sofa
"You're nowhere as scared as I was when I woke up this morning and saw you weren't here! How can you disobey me like that? Do my words hold no value to you?"
"Don't say that mama you know they do. I just went to ask Marwa to bring me any notes from school." I said and I know that is the worst excuse ever because I hardly take notes but mama doesn't know that.
She arches one eyebrow staring at me like I'm a liar. "What? I'm not lying" I said.
"I'm going to their house today anyways, so I'll see if you actually asked her for notes," she says like she's caught me red-handed.
"Alright you'll see but why are you going?" I said trying to play it off cool
"To see what Maryam and her husband decided about the marriage" oh Shoot how could I forget I was supposed to ask Marwa about it? "Alright, mama" and suddenly I felt like getting up and kissing her forehead so I did because she deserved it because she was trying so much for me.
"Is this because you're afraid I'll find out you lied?" she says crossing her arms and putting her burka on
"Yeah, that's exactly why I'm sorry," I said because it's easier than saying I want to thank you for staying up so many endless nights by my side.
***
She comes home and I see Marwa standing beside her. We need to talk she mouths. She pulls out a book "I brought the notes you asked for I just need to explain some things to you" I nod sitting up on the sofa. She sits on the sofa opposite me. My mother watches over us and Marwa passes me the book with a note written at the top.
"that's the notes from geography," she says and i read the note at the top just say yes to the amount my dad is asking for I'll help pay half of it right now i look up at her confused. how much Mehr can he possibly be asking for if she's offering to help pay? how much is it? i write below and pass the book back to her.
"i don't understand your handwriting there," i said. she takes the book and then pasees it back to me 20,000 please don't cancel she wrote. i try not to show my shock and write
how much time is he giving me to make this type of money?
the rest of this year she wrote.
"instead of saying jazak allah khayr to our precious girl who took all that time to make you the notes. you're sitting there making her rewrite half the stuff for you. say thank you, you're holding the girl back." my mom says coming near us to give Marwa mango juice
"thank you khala and it's no trouble at all. Jabil will help me when I need help" she says drinking the mango juice and looking at me. i motion for her to stay because i needed more information, how am i supposed to get this sum of money?
"thank you so much khala but I have to go home now before it gets dark," she says putting on a niqab before leaving and ignoring my motions. "Marwa wears a niqab?" I said out loud trying to catch her attention but she just leaves.
"yeah, she wants to start, her mom told her she doesn't have to, so I guess she's just testing it for now." my mom answered offering me a cup of mango juice
"I'll drink if you drink," i said to her and she poured herself a cup and drank. She sits next to me fiddling with her fingers.
"What's wrong?" I asked
YOU ARE READING
A silent cry
Historical Fiction"and after all this time of waiting the devil would reach out to me and whisper, he's dead and you are here, how much longer will you wait, how much longer would you deny the truth, at some point, I was afraid that he would unlock my ribcage and sen...
