A silent cry

[11] THE LETTER

One month later ...

Sanaa was filled with joy. "THE WAR HAS ENDED AND THE HEROES HAVE COME" was chanted around the town. The war was finally over and the soldiers were returning. The mothers were prepping the meals as the young boys of the town ran from store to store. The laughter of the girls filled the whole town. As for me, I couldn't bring myself to step outside. I lapsed around my house nervously playing with the ring in my hand. I had waited for two months and it was never as hard as it is right now. These matters of minutes even seconds feel like an eternity. I was becoming a complete mess.

"Abbas, abbas, abbas " his name was echoing in my head, I couldn't wait to see him, to say his name, to feel his warmth. The dumb smirk he always had on his face. I missed him but I couldn't bring myself to admit it. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle the thought of anything bad happening to him. "ya Allah, grant me patience and forgive me for what will come of me"

There was a low knock on the door, my heart sank as I rushed to open it.

Who is it? I called from behind the door
"Ali I'm a friend of Abbas, we went to war together" a reply comes from behind the door. From the tone of the man, I couldn't really tell what type of news this would be. He didn't seem to hold a somber tone but at the same time shouldn't it be Abbas knocking. I slowly open the door only a few inches so that our eyes could meet.

He was a redhead, a little taller than me, and had a tanned complexion. I remembered now when Abbas told me about some Ali who was a redhead, could this be him. He stands on the right side of the door away from the opening.

"Abbas is a good friend of mine, he asked me to deliver this note to you" he hands it to me.

He said, "you have to be careful and not tell anybody". I hesitated, debating if I should ask him to read me the note, and thought maybe I could handle reading it by myself. For the past two months, I've been practicing how to read and write more.

"Shukran" I decided to just thank him instead. Also "if you need anything don't hesitate to ask,  I work in the souk now," he says keeping his face towards the ground out of respect. He turns around and turns back fast "and don't worry Abbas is fine" he gives a friendly smile and leaves.

I quickly open the note trying to understand it, I understood a few words the usual. I figured the words habibti, Hadiya, you, moon, care, yourself but it wasn't enough to fully understand the content of the note. I pull out his old notes trying to find familiar words to further figure out the note but there wasn't much. It was still good enough though, I quickly lay the notes on the side next to the letter when I hear another knock at the door. I rush to the door "who is it"

"Maryam," a trembling voice says. It was my closest friend almost like a sister to me. I open the door and she rushes in taking off her naqib. "can we talk, please?"

"of course, come" I patted her back asking what's wrong
She swallows and shakes her head not willing to speak yet.

"It's okay come here qalbi, we can talk when you want to"
I head into the kitchen and prepare some tea biscuits and drinks for her.
I sit close to her telling her to eat, she takes a few bites then stops and places her face in her palm.

"It's my husband." She said massaging her head and clearing her throat
"Ya qalbi I'm so sorry, Allah ya rehma"

(ya qalbi - my heart)
Allah ya rehma" (may God have mercy on him)

She shakes her head, correcting my assumption
"He isn't dead, he had divorced me before he left, we didn't really have a good relationship, to say the least, but I thought maybe when he returns I could convince him to change his mind" she pauses

"he returned only to kick me out right away, and I, I don't want to return to my family's house, I will never forget how my father treated me, I can't go back Hadiya, I just can't. At least not for right now, I want to fix some things about myself before I do" she stares at the floor with clear concern,

she couldn't explain any further, it was clear in her face. I didn't want to push her further anyways.

"I'm tired and I just needed someone who would listen to me, I don't know what to do," she says with a pleading look. she looked at me apologetically as if she had laid a burden on me. 

"Come here" I pull her in for a hug. Then I felt something curl in my stomach and climb its way to my throat, I was going to vomit.

I quickly let go of her and run to the bathroom, she runs after me.

"Hadiya are you okay?"

I wipe my face and hold on to my head feeling a little dizzy. "Yeah I don't know what happened"

"Did you eat anything out of order?" she asked with a smile curling at her lips
"No just what I normally eat"

"Are you pregnant?"
"I don't know, I don't think I am" I smile at the thought that there might be a little abbas but I wasn't sure. I imagined him walking around the house, abbas .. my thoughts drift towards the note he brought and I remember that Maryam could read but I felt like it wasn't the right time to ask her yet.

Maryam hugs me, "Insha'Allah the baby will be as beautiful and kind as you are but not as crazy" she grins.

We talked a little more and I suggested her staying with me to help me, this way she can escape her family, even though she hadn't mentioned it, I knew why she didn't want to return. she thinks I've forgotten but I remember clearly the bruises she would try to hide and some she couldn't hide so she would lie that they were caused by a fall or that one of the sheep attacked her. she never ran out of excuses, but I wasn't dumb, it was too clear. 

I started cleaning the plate and we head into my room and I show her the note. She was one of the few neighborhood girls who went to school for a short period of time. she walks closer to the notes "are all these from abbas?" I look at her nodding as a smile of contentment makes its way to my lips, staring at all the notes piled up, I've never realized how much I had. I scrambled over them before she could start reading the embarrassing, personal ones. she laughs at my poor attempt to hide them and pretends like she isn't looking. I grabbed the last note I received and pass it to her. she sits besides me on the edge of the bed filled with excitement and begins reading loudly

"Habibti Hadiya, I know you're thinking why wasn't I there when the war ended, I'm sorry that I wasn't but there are matters that must be dealt with and they could take a  long time.

Her expression becomes a little tenser as she continues

The war isn't over, we sent some of the soldiers back only to consolidate the people, we want life in sanna to continue progressing, but we're headed towards Marib because the Hadid turned out to be as you expected,  they have been gathering people for a long time, this is the only letter I'll be able to send. Take care of yourself and watch the moon"

So how long will the actual war be? She looks over at me handing me the letter

thank you guys so much for 500 reads!!!