Cruel Summer - Conrad Fisher

thirty-three

    Belly smiles at me as I place her headband on top of her head. The pearls on top of it perfectly matched the necklace Susannah gave her, and her hair was pulled back, showing off just how radiant my little sister was. "You look gorgeous, Bels," I tell her, turning her chair around so she can look in the mirror. I was already fully ready, too, my hair in a bun much like my sisters, with curled pieces in the front pulled out to frame my face.

"So do you," Belly reaches to place her hand on top of the one I have resting on her shoulder, gently squeezing it before letting go. "Conrad's a lucky guy."

"Oh," I stammer, shaking my head, "we're not... he's not...." Belly giggles at my jumbled words, her brow quirked. "We're just friends."

"Right," Belly nods, and I sit at my vanity beside her. She looks guilty, and thankfully, the rest of the girls are too busy getting ready to notice our suddenly serious expressions, "because of me."

She states it rather than questioning it, her gaze falling to her lap, where her hands are anxiously twisting together, "No," I am quick to argue, but then Belly quirks her brow at me, and I sigh, "well, I mean... at first, yeah you were the reason I kept my distance; but it's not anymore, I swear. Things are just... complicated."

"Complicated?" She repeats my words, confused, "how so?"

"You know Conrad," I shrug, and Belly laughs at that because if there's one word to describe the oldest Fisher brother, complicated seems pretty spot on. "He uh has a lot on his plate. I don't want to add to it."

"But you like him?" Belly asks, before I can nod or confirm this, she continues, her brows furrowed together in confusion, "and he likes you?" She doesn't sound hurt or upset by her own words. Like the sound of Conrad and I sharing feelings for one another is absolutely crushing her, she merely sounds concerned and confused as to what the big deal is. "Then isn't it worth it? Even if your lives are both stressful?"

Conrad was worth it. I never doubted that for a second. It was more me I was concerned about, worried that he'd try to take my problems on his back too, worried I'd add more unneeded stress into his life. "It's not that easy, Bels."

"Who said anything about easy?" She argues, shaking her head at me, "sure, it'll be hard..." For a second, it sounds like she knows about Susannah, her tone comforting, "no one's saying long distance is easy, but it's you and Conrad. If anyone can make it work, it's you two."

Right... long distance. I guess that's the stressful thing she thinks I'm letting get between us, "and you wouldn't be hurt?" I ask Belly, changing the topic.

"I was really stupid this summer, Flo," She sighs, turning her gaze towards her mirror, avoiding my eyes. "I'd had this stupid crush on Conrad since I was a little girl," She admits, and I nod because I knew that, "and that's all it ever was... a crush. Because as much as I thought I liked him, no one's ever made me feel the way Cam does." She smiles at the thought of the boy who'd be escorting her to the balls, and my heart swells with happiness for my little sister. "I think I liked the idea of Conrad. When I was this weird, awkward kid, he was always nice to me. He made me feel special..."

I nod, my mind drifting to memories of our childhood. Conrad always made sure to include Belly and shut the other boys up when they teased her. Of course, she had a crush on him. He was perfect. "He's really good at that," I agree with her, smiling.

Belly turns to look at me again, this time reaching for my hand, "I want you to be happy, Flo," She tells me, squeezing my hand, "please don't let other things get in the way of that. When I called you selfish that night in my room, it was one of the stupidest things I've ever said. You've spent your whole life putting Steven and I before yourself. It's time you put your own happiness first."

I smile at my little sister, suddenly aware of how much she's grown. And not only in her looks but in how she acts. She wasn't some little girl that I needed to protect anymore, "you can't make me cry. My mascara will run," I tease her as I feel my eyes well up.

Belly laughs at that, and I can see she's got tears brimming in her eyes too, her smile just as bright as my own, "Right," She nods, "no more heart to hearts until after the ball, deal?"

She holds her pinky out to me, and I interlock mine with her. It's childish, something we've been doing since Belly could talk, but it was us, "Deal."

This chapter is so short, but it's also so sweet!