Cruel Summer - Conrad Fisher

fifteen

   I slept in on my birthday. The night before, I'd drawn my shades closed, not wanting to be woken by the sun like I usually am. I can hear voices in the kitchen as I pull myself out of bed, tiredly dragging myself around my room to get somewhat ready for the morning. I pull my hair out of the braid I'd twisted into before falling asleep, not bothering to change out of my PJ shorts and the Cousins t-shirt I'd been wearing.

I was supposed to be grabbing Isla at the bus by now, I think, slipping on a pair of flip-flops before leaving my room. Instead, she'd called me last night at midnight exactly, singing to me in a quiet whisper to not wake her parents. She promised me she'd call again before heading out to her grandparents, shooting me her brightest goofy grin as she hung up.

"There she is," Jeremiah sprung out of his seat as soon as I entered the kitchen, pulling me into a tight hug, my feet lifting off the ground, "Happy Birthday, Flo." He cheered, spinning me around excitedly.

Despite my somewhat dampened mood, Jeremiah's excited greeting makes me giggle, a genuine smile making its way onto my lips, "Thanks, Jere," I ruffle his hair once I'm back on the ground.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart," Mom moves over, sweeping me into her arms. Things have been somewhat better with mom, I guess. She doesn't really know that sometimes what she says can hurt me, so she always bounces right back after our serious convos.

"Thanks, Mom," I hug her back. As we're hugging, the backdoor swings open, followed by someone's arms grabbing my waist, startling me.

"Happy birthday, big sis," Steven chuckles at my startled reaction, throwing his arm around my shoulder. Steven's never been one for affection towards Bels and me, so I'm slightly thrown off by the action, until he moves his knuckles up to my head, messing up my already somewhat messy hair.

"You're such a jerk," I giggle, playfully pushing him away.

Before Steven can argue, Susannah steps over, engulfing me in one of her world-famous hugs, "Our first baby is all grown up," she says to mom, running her fingers through my hair. Whenever Susannah hugs me, I feel like a little kid again. I don't doubt that mom loves me. It's just that sometimes I think she forgets I'm not that much older than Belly, who she treats like her precious little girl still, "Happy birthday, my love."

"Thank you," I smile at her once she's pulled me out of her arms. 

    "We made your favourite for breakfast," she nudges me, "Nutella French toast, with extra strawberries."

"And..." Jeremiah ran over to the fridge, pulling out an iced coffee from my favourite place in town, "the largest caramel iced coffee I could get."

We all move to the table, which is already decorated with fourth of July décor. Belly sits across from me as Jere takes the seat beside me. I've gotten used to her silence towards me, so I don't expect a smile or even a brief nod, "Happy birthday, Florence." She looks down at her French toast, speaking so quietly I barely hear her.

"Thanks, Belly." I smiled. It wasn't perfect. Other years on my birthday, Belly usually woke me up by flopping on top of me while I slept, singing happy birthday at the top of her lungs until I got out of bed. It was something, though, a small glimmer of things maybe getting back to normal between us one day.

"Alright," Susannah sits at the head of the table, mom taking the seat beside her. I can't help but notice the empty seat that Conrad usually sits in, "dig in."

"Is Conrad not joining us?" I ask, trying not to sound too disappointed by his absence. I guess I deserve it. He was the one who wanted to figure things out, and like the coward I am, I pushed him even further away.