The Unstoppable Zuri

All That Good Stuff

My dad came in after I saw the lactation consultant. The baby was already having some trouble latching, and I was having a lot of pain. We tried using these little nipple shields and they made it a lot better.

    Once I was sewed up, cleaned up, and relaxed, my dad came into the room. He had a massive bouquet of balloons from the giftshop which probably cost him an arm and a leg. I let him hold my baby girl, who was pretty quiet and sleepy, now that she was fed. He was the proudest papi I'd ever seen.

    "It's been so long since I held a baby. This is so wonderful," my dad said, grinning from ear to ear.

    A nurse came by to take her down into the nursery so I could get some rest. I put her in the bassinet and she was wheeled out of the room. Since it was nearly ten and the kitchen was closed, I had nothing to eat. My dinner was a bag of hot fries, a gatorade, and a granola bar from my bag. It was the best, worst feast I'd ever had.

    I gave Hannah a hug goodbye and thanked her. I told her I'd call her again for my next baby, if that ever happened someday. My friends left too, so it was just my dad and I. He made himself as comfortable as he could in the chair next to my bed.

    I wanted to get some sleep, but the lady on the other side of my wall was delivering twins until midnight. When she finally was done screaming, we could fall asleep. I got up for the first time at about three in the morning to use the bathroom. It was really, really challenging, even with the peri bottle.

    I honestly just had a moment in that bathroom. I was almost eighteen, single, stitches on my vagina, and it hurt to pee. I was so sore down there, and I still looked like I had a baby bump. My stomach was all swollen. I didn't realize how badly I'd feel after giving birth.

    I had a good cry, finished peeing, changed my pad, and went back to sleep. I'd get a good nap in, have breakfast, and feel better in the morning. All that good stuff. Just needed positive vibes, because this was really overwhelming and really stressful.

    At around seven I woke back up and they brought breakfast in an hour later. I ate a breakfast burrito while watching the news on the tv in my room. Some politician somewhere did something stupid again. I changed the channel.

    When I was done eating, a nurse brought in my little burrito. I was super full, so I grabbed a shield and started feeling the baby. My dad looked down at his phone or out the window. When I was done feeding after a while, I changed my pad out again, and went to the bathroom. It was still painful.

    A nurse came in to check on me and gave me some ibuprofen, along with an ice pack, which made things a little better. She came back an hour later and helped me get out of bed. She helped me with my first diaper change and then we gave the baby a bath. She hated it.

    After that, I got her dressed in a blue nightgown that had pink roses on it and a matching headband. I never imagined how hard it would be to get a baby to make their hand into a fist and put their arm through a sleeve.

It should be an olympic sport, and I'd have to do this every time I dressed her in something. I couldn't wait for the summer when she'd be in short sleeves. That would be a miracle for me.

Once she was fully dressed and screaming her brains out, I took so many pictures of her to put on social media. I felt tired and shitty and in pain, but she made everything so worth it.

    "Hi there! I'm here to make out your birth certificate," another nurse said, walking into the room.

    I sat back in the bed with the baby because she wanted to be fed again. My dad handed me the boppy pillow and a blanket to cover her up.

    "Okay, can I have her name, please," asked the nurse.

    "Sapphire Rose Le Fleur," I said.

    "Oh wow, that is gorgeous!" she said. She typed it up and then handed me a pen to sign. "No signature for the father?"

    "I tried my best to reach out and get him to sign, but got no response. Is that okay?" I asked.

    "Of course. As long as you're okay with not getting child support."

    "He has no money to pay for that anyway," I said, signing my name on the "mother" line.

    I handed the birth certificate to my dad and he placed it in my bag with the rest of the paperwork from the hospital. I finished feeding Sapphire, then put her down for a nap in the bassinet. A nurse came in to check on my stitches and see how I was doing. Everything was looking good.

    Before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I was given a gourmet meal of cafeteria spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and a fruit cup. My dad had to go get lunch himself, then bring it up in a to-go box.

    "Well, here we are. You go home tomorrow," he said.

    "I'm nervous. I really don't feel good. This is kinda scary. Like, I have a human being I have to take care of. She completely depends on me!"

    "I know it's scary, but I'll be here to help you the first couple of days," my dad said.

    I looked over at Sapphire, who startled herself awake in her crib and was now crying. I picked her up and tried to shush her, but it wasn't working. I started to feel like I had no control over anything. What if I really couldn't do this?