Smuts - not my

Dont Play - Tom Holland

AO3 original by maliuh

inspired by a really cringey and unfunny prank interview someone did on tom. you get caught up in a prank interview on tom. ever the gentleman, he plays along and acts polite, you however have had a long day and refuse to put up with such childish behavior. also you play silk in iw soo let's just pretend she was actually in there.

You and Tom both greet the interviewer politely, neither of you saying anything about the fact that he's got some weird... fabric... tied around his head. Tom shoots a look at you as if he knew exactly where your mind was.

"Is that the outfit you'll be wearing for the whole interview?" His voice is flat as he addresses Tom and you look past the camera to Harry and give him a confused look.

"It is actually, yea.." Tom is still smiling but he turns to look at your outfit, "Do you not like it?" You want to scoff cause who fucking cares if this guy doesn't like his outfit(which was... phenomenal, by the way. the chain? oof) but of course Tom fucking cares.

"It's a brave outfit, but um," he leans forward and pressed his face into his hand as if he's irritated, "Why are you pretending to be British for the interview?"

It takes him a second, you can see on his face that he's honestly astonished by the pure audacity of this guy. Tom gives him the benefit of the doubt, "Why am I what? Sorry?"

"I watched the trailer for the movie," he looks back at the producer like he's confused, "And um- you were American and then-"

"No, but I am," Tom looks off set to his brothers who are choking in laughter, "I am British, I play-" he swallows and you know from months of watching him on set when he's gonna do his American accent, "I do an American accent when I play Spider-man."

"How is that possible?" You can't control your expression as it shifts to disbelief, is this guy for fucking real? You listened to Tom do a play by play of the situation, not sounding even a little frustrated.

"Do you think I could stand a chance in this industry? Y/N?" He called your name looking for your participation.

"Definitely." You lifted your voice so it sounded convincing.

The interviewer seemed to be taking a concentrated pause before each question, "Well I probably- I mean I am a better actor, you just have to take your breaks in life sometimes." Tom shifts so his hand is wrapped around your wrist in your lap, a silent plea to keep it cool, "Obviously you both know some cool people and I don't wanna brag but I know Conor Maynard."

The name is familiar in your head as Tom says, "I know Conor Maynard too, actually."

"I mean everyone knows Conor Maynard, but I know know him, you know him right, Y/N?" A list of clap backs file through your head and you rush to pick the best one.

"Can't say that name rings any bells," turning to Tom he catches the playful look in your eyes and smiles, you two go back and forth and you pretend not to know any of the songs he lists off, "Ohh," you smile sweetly back at the interviewer, making sure there's no feeling behind your eyes, "The one who's career died in 2012! No, I don't know him."

Faintly you hear Sam doing a spit take of his water, the interviewers face goes blank and there's a beat of silence. He decides to switch the subject, "So your characters are love interests in the movie," he clears his throat and his face turns a bright red, "Have you guys had sex in real life?" Tom sputters and the room goes dead silent, "I bet I could do better than him," he addresses his words at you.

The anger and embarrassment rushes through you, "I don't. I heard gingers have small dicks," his mouth is open and he's looking around at people off set like he's waiting for them to throw him a line. You pick up your water cup and take a drink from it.