Dazed. // Giyuu Angst

Chapter 3

(I FORGOT A SUM OF THE THING LAST TIME)

Sum of the chapter:
Giyuu feels like shit about his body, also Flashback sooo-

TW:
Body Dysphoria,
SH?
It's basically gonna be most the chapter sooo...

Tomioka's POV:

Flashback ig

"Hey Yui!! Wanna battle again? You seem down!" Sabito asked, running up to me.

"Uhm.. sure."

"You good?"

I nodded in response. We walked together to our clearing with the boulder where we usually trained.

"Alright! Let's do this!! I won't go easy on you because you're a girl though!" He confidently said.

Oh, to have that confidence. I spaced out for a second, I briefly glanced at my chest. Why couldn't I be a male? In this fucking hellhole of a world, why couldn't I be given the right body? Why. Why- just why. I hated this body. And I just can't muster up the confidence to tell anyone about this thought. Tsutako knew.. she's gone though. The townsfolk.. they never accepted me.

I spaced out even more at the thought of my old town.

"Stick with your own gender, dickhead. You'll never be a boy."
More insults raced round my head.
"Freakshow!"
(Think of some more I'm too tired to)

Why did I have to be born into the wrong body..? Why- why.

That word kept repeating in my head. Why.

I hadn't realised my breathing had sped up, a bit too much, actually. My head spun and as I snapped back to reality, I heard Sabito yelling my name. Deadname, actually.

"Yui? Yui! Yui can you hear me-?"

I fell to my knees and Sabito fell with me, I think. I grabbed onto his haori and he pulled me in, trying to calm my breathing. After a few minutes, I think my breathing slowed.
"Yui, are you okay-? You worried me."

"I-i.. I'm okay.. I think."

Sabito pulled me in closer. "Is there something wrong? You were panicking but I don't know what over, and I doubt you'd panic over a training session."

"Well.. uhm.. quick question?"

"Yes?"

"Do you accept uh.. transgender people..?"

"Is that even a question? I accept anyone. Why? Are you-"

I nodded slowly. "That's so cool! So you're a male, right?"

Flashback end ig

(I blanked here for at least a few days fucking hell-

ANYWAY ITS MY 2ND DAY ON HOLIDAY NOW I HAVE NO WIFI BUT I DO HAVE A HOT TUB!!!! I was on a hammock writing this from now on

Oh also, sadly my friends left England now and I won't see her for at least a year, but hey I have memories of us)

I sat in my mismatched haori, my head tucked into my arms. My raven black hair dropped down the sides. Maybe I should cut it. It looks too feminine. Shinazugawa had left a little bit after Mitsuri. He didn't ask any questions except why I wore the mask.

3rd person pov:
Tomioka sat in a tight ball, his wooden mask to the side of him. Soon enough he stood up and stared down at the floor. Eventually he stood up and looked himself up and down in the mirror.

Tomioka POV:
I stared at myself in the mirror.

My mind pointed out every single bit of me that was feminine. My legs. My chest. My arms. My face. My hair. My eyes. My hands.

My everything. Fuck. I hated this. This body. This world. I hated all of it. I want to break free. I spaced out and my mind resorted to the one thing that set me free, gave me the thought that I was fine. I walked over towards the bathroom and rumbled through the bottom drawer until I grabbed what I needed.

The blade.

A/N
Anygays, woohoo yay. This chapter is dOne. 636 words <3