Help Me Understand

Chapter One: Dance of Anguish

WARNING: This chapter contains a violent panic attack, please proceed carefully!
Angeria's POV:

"Angie. Get up." Called a familiar voice. I groaned as I rolled over, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, glancing over at the still ticking clock. 2:57, it read. I was about to question why Willow had woken me up,  only to be told that Camden wasn't in bed. I sighed to myself and hopped out of bed. I was about to look for Camden, when I heard music coming from Camden's room. I sighed, going over to the door. But the sight in front of me was one that not even my worst nightmares could prepare me for.

All of Camden's clothes were strewn across the floor, countless shirts and skirts decorated every surface imaginable. As if someone had threw all of them out of Camden's room while looking for someone or something. And I don't think most of them were washed yet.

Bandage wrappers and tinfoil had been carelessly discarded, landing on the floor to gather dust. The tinfoil had been from every meal we had brought to her, and the way she had ate, all hunched over, not even caring if it got all over her face, it made her look like a vulture. A starving vulture.

The music was a normally happy tune, but because the disc had been played so many times, it started to become warped and distorted. It only made the room's atmosphere scarier. And it skipped. The record fucking skipped.

Bosco looked about ready to tear her hair out. Her fists were clenched, as if she was trying to physically restrain herself from hurting Camden. I could see the burning desire to hit Camden in her eyes. She looked as if she could snap if anyone looked at her wrong.

On the other end, was Daya. She looked scared, which wasn't an emotion you'd see on her face very often. All the color had been drained from her face, and she quivered slightly. She was staring at Bosco, horrified. Looking as if she wanted to hold Bosco and keep her from hurting Camden but was too scared to move.

But the worst part, the final piece to this horrifying puzzle, was Camden. She had been crumpled on the floor, wailing. She slammed her fist on the ground and begged Bosco and Daya to leave her alone. Her whole body trembling horribly, nauseating bruises and sores covered every visible inch of her legs and torso.

"Go away Coco! Go away! Just leave me the fuck alone!" Camden shrieked, her body racked with sobs. I was so confused. Camden would normally never talk like that. Not even if she was furious. Bosco looked enraged by Camden talking to her like that, as she started yelling.

"My fucking god, Camden. You ever think that we CARE about you and don't want you destroying yourself?! For fuck's sake, Camden, can you think about anyone but yourself for just ONE SECOND?! Quit being so fucking selfish!" Bosco snapped, towering menacingly over Camden, her fist shaking as she restrained herself from punching Camden.

Suddenly, Camden's sobs stopped. She just stared up at Bosco, sniveling quietly. She hiccuped a few times before she stood up on wobbly legs. If Bosco was taken aback, she certainly didn't show it.

"Did you just call me... Selfish..?" Camden whimpered, trembling as her lips quivered. Bosco seemed confused by Camden's change in demeanor. Camden suddenly bolted out of the room, slamming the door shut. All of us slowly turned to Bosco. I gave her a look while Daya shook her head. We all left to follow Camden, Willow making sure to push Bosco on her way out.

We were about to spilt up to look for Camden, but suddenly, a heart breaking screech echoed around the room. I immediately followed the noise, and I immediately gasped in horror at the sight. Just when I thought Camden couldn't be hurt anymore...

Camden was clawing violently at her arms, painting them a bright red with each scratch. She looked as if she was literally trying to claw the skin right off of her body. She repeatedly muttered the word "selfish" to herself. I didn't know what to do, but I didn't have to think for very long, as Daya quickly left, returning with a pair of very thick gloves.

"Angie, hold her so I can get these gloves on her, they'll keep her from hurting herself anymore," Daya instructed, and I promptly nodded, running over to Camden and wrapping my arms around her tightly. As expected, she squirmed and thrashed around, trying to make me let go.

"Shhh, shhh, Camden, it's okay, it's okay," Willow shushed, running over and rubbing Camden's bright red arm, the skin cracking from all the scratches it had weathered. Camden wailed, her throat probably raw and bleeding at this point.

"Let me go! Both of you get the fuck off of me!" Camden shrieked, kicking and squirming as much as she could, more heart wrenching sobs escaping her mouth as she tried desperately to escape.

"Camden, please. We don't want you to get hurt, please Cam, please just try to calm down," I spoke, trying my best to soothe her. All she did was kick and thrash and scream, clawing at the air in front of her to escape. But I couldn't let her go, I couldn't. Not yet at least.

"Angeria Paris VanMichaels, get the fuck off of me!" Camden hollered, Daya slowly sitting in front of Camden, taking Camden's hand in hers. She placed the gloves on each of Camden's hands. Camden opened her eyes, staring at the gloves.

"What are... What are these for? Angie, what are these for?" Camden whimpered, staring at me as I pulled her into my lap. I rubbed her arm, trying to ease the pain. She winced at first, but snuggled up to me, probably desperate for comfort.

"It's so you can't hurt yourself. Look at your arms, you were literally clawing the skin off of them," I spoke calmly, grimacing at her raw, red arms. She looked and screamed, obviously horrified by what she had done.

She hid in my arms, letting her sobs out as I rubbed her back, trying to provide any sort of comfort I could. I heard Camden let out an exhausted yawn.

Soon enough, she had fallen asleep.