Since when did you get engraved in my psyche ?
You stay in my mind
Emerging from time to time
But never apart from me
.
When I try to kill you
You only crawl back to me again
When I try to keep you
The pain tells me that it is in vain
.
When I think of meeting you once more
Showing you how much I've grown up
I only realise things I haven't given up
Desires that haven't yet left my core
.
When I talk to you, in my head
I really only talk to a disguised me
I want to forget you to go on ahead
That's another delusion that I don't see
.
In reality, everytime I say
That I am letting you go
I only wait for the day
That you see me doing so
.
I turn my back on you
Yet still offer a hand and stop my feet
In case you'd want to hold it
Hiding the fact that I want it too
.
The truth is that I did let you go
But kept you by my side
"Maybe she'll come back", I hoped so
Maybe we'd become friends after a lone ride
.
And what I told you never left my mouth
Cause you were never there
All my hopes died while the birds flew south
And I couldn't accept what felt unfair
.
This is no love story, the past is dead
Memories are memories, the void is fed
I only long for your affection
As the friend I knew underneath the passion
.
All this time I felt and told myself
"You're pathetic"
"You should be ashamed of yourself"
"Move on, you prick"
.
So, today I realised that I need
To stop waiting
Love myself enough to stop the bleeding
Hope is a plant, now kill its seed
.
Tommorow only knows
What a broken heart beggs to know
Tommorow only understands
What a despaired man beggs to understand
.
Now and the days to come
No need to stay on the phone
Why wait for everything and some ?
I tell myself : "You are alone"
.
"Stop telling her to stay, you fool
You're only talking to a blank space
Leave yourself alone, stop loosing your cool
Accept the feelings and look at your own face"
.
We are not born as halves my love
We are born with wings to fly my dove
Kill your last desires and live for yourself
Not as him, not as them, but as yourself
YOU ARE READING
iii
PoetryA collection of heartfelt poems. Homage to the english language that I love so much. There will be a wide variety of feelings expressed but I prefere them strong. Enjoy.
