Cracked To the dredges

Chapter 1: Staring 

   I faintly smiled into the grimy mirror coated with black residue that hadn't been cleaned off in years. The only more repulsive thing living in the cracked visage was the reflection that had been poking harshly throughout the whole of my existence. My face. The skin of the entity peeking back sheepishly blemished blackish red dots that wouldnt easily fade and coated with a thin layer of oil inspired repulsion. Mirrored with black pits minted with silver and greasy black hair that swelled over hefty thighs and broad hips became the subject of mental self-degradation. Embelished with granules of fat here and there was not the most happy of subjects to talk about. In the arena of looks, I lacked quite a bit.

    No matter how persistently, with all my heart I tried to smile it couldn't vanish anything.Mom would always say to smile. She would say,"A smile is the only ornament anyone needs to look beautiful.A  beautiful lady with a grimace becomes equivalent to dirt. Smiles that alight the roundest of faces show delight, show happiness in the soul--happiness of being who you are. Dear Noel, precious, don't ever forget that. If anything can save you, if anything can help you persevere, a smile can."

     As I recalled mother telling me these words while stroking my hair and knitting a wool scarf of the deepest burgundies. As I recalled mother making ginger tea and adding petals of lavender for good luck. As I recalled mother, sweetly coming over to wipe of my tears when I got a bruise, I started to form tiny round globules at the edges of my eyes. Pearls of grief, a physical expression of pain. I cried for mother, for father and myself. Ma had been a werewolf and so had Papa.

-----------Background---------------

       We had been a normal family even though we were werewolves. We were all member of the Black Shadow Pack. My Papa, Terence White held the position of beta of the pack and my mama, Crystal, had been a strong adviser of the alpha due to her being a trusted cousin. Even the Luna, Graciel had taken advise from Ma. I still have a brother older than me by 3 years whose name is Griffin. Even though we were from a pretty strong pack, pa stil  ment to give us a normal life.

       We had lived apart from the pack house in a tiny 3 room house nearby. The house which had a cottage-like pristine view of the dark Pennsylvania forests became the mirage, the palace, the enchanted meadow I imagined and loved in as a child. Brother and I were inseparable, the light and dark. His tempest like behavior would balance out my sunny solitude. My warmth and hidden strength would be contrasted by his dark rage and affectionate heart. The perfect balance to each other's existence, we were the best of siblings and remained so, until mother and father left.

    Ma and pa died in a car accident and soon after their death we moved back into the pack house. Over the years my brother drifted from me and sought other friends such as the Alphas son, Arin. A bitterness came over Griffin and as we grew so did his hatred for me. Arin, encouraged by my brother's ignorance of me, used me as a target as I was slightly chubby. I had always been radiantly healthy looking with some fat on my bones unlike some of the girls my age who were just made of skin and bones. My round pale face and extremely pale skin that could almost be seen through made me look fragile. My hair was a forest of black hair trailing down to my waist with blonde interwoven every couple strands; a natural hair type. My eyes were black with a molten amber around the pupils and flecked in the black. 

   Due to these somewhat irregular features and a bit fleshy body type, I got snarky comments. When I though they had finally subsided, they were found to be replaced with diatribes, insults,tears that welled outside my soul. I found it hard to take, but with the help of nature, the wind, and the heady sense of happiness mother had built into my system, I lived on memories and was quietly cheerful. I would always take a twenty minute walk in the morning through the woods, sitting in the sunny meadow or misty grove soaking in the peace before chaos was unleashed as it would be soon enough.

-------Back to Present--------

      I woke up to the sound of wrens twittering in the distance. The sky was in brilliant streaks of purple and peachy light, giving the window screen a rosy hue. Morning glories tentatively opened eyes and sleepy lemon flowers gave a yawn breathing out their scent towards my window. It smelled of rainkissed lives and life everywhere. I got out my tiny, closet like room towards my ensuite bathroom. The bathroom had a black framed mirror with a clean black marble sink and cupboard. There was a small shower at the edge with a tiny toilet and two black cupboards containing black towels, navy blue robes, irish spring soap, vaseline, and q-tips. 

         Rubbing my eyes, I got to the sink, turning on warm water and splashing it lightly on my face. I brushed and then put on my only pair of black leather combat boots, trudging into the woods. I went ot my favorite meadow, smelling the grass and walking in the soft sunshine. Soon I headed back and watered the primroses. Imbued with a sense of concord, I went to the house, hopped into my shower and then came out wearing a robe. I swept towards the tiny closet, picking out black cargo pants and a blue shirt with a terry cloth black jacket I combed my wet hair with a comb airdrying it and then twisted it into a bun after it had dried. 

         I walked downstairs soundlessly with my black and blue jansport bag which held my homework and a novel I was reading, Fountainhead by Ayn Rynd. Then I started making pancakes and french toast when I heard it. The torture would start.

   "Bitch, you better not be late making breakfast today. I have to go and if I'm late cuz of you, you're ass is going to be shoved down the stairs so hard it's going to bleed", Griffin rabidly shouted.  They never called me by my name, sometimes I wondered if they had forgot it, but I knew I would only gain myself a wedgy if I asked, or perhaps worse. I headed over the the wide oak table where one of Griffin's sluts were sitting. Melissa, one of them who had whitish blonde hair who had overflowing boobs and a curvy body basically sat on top of him making out. I had a couple words,"Kill me now". Ughghgh. 

     I placed the big platters of french toast, gooey chocolate stuffed peach muffins, strawberry pancakes, and mango juice in a pitcher on the table. Soon the rest of the pack would be down and If I did not leave now, Arin would probably come down with his and Griffin's gang of 14 scary muscled teenage werewolf boys and harrass me. I hated it and I did not know why I put up with it. Honestly, sometimes I just felt like enrolling into an orphanage to avoid their beatings and tear inducing comments.

            I quickly stuffed french toast and a muffin into a breakfast box that snapped shut and left for school with my lunchbox I had packed the night before. I used the back door, surreptiously creeping out and made my daily ten minute walk towards school. I put on my black converse and trudged to school with a smile. 

              For first period, as a freshman I trudged into highschool, my first day. I was very young for highschool as I was thirteen, but had skipped quite a bit ----one grade. Looking at my schedule, I noticed I had AP calculus BC. Awesome, the extra studying over summer had payed off. I also had physics C, AP lang and lit, European History, and Computer Science. I was good at studies considering all my free time was used up by reading classical or modernist novels or trudging out to the meadows to study in my free time. At this rate, I could finish highschool as a sophomore. This would be a good year I was sure.

        But, as usual I failed to see I was wrong.