All The Things You Said (gxg)

Senior Year Continued

The next couple of months at my house were extremely awkward. I didn't feel unsafe at my house, but I sure as hell didn't feel welcomed. I barely spoke to my parents, and they barely spoke to me. I didn't eat dinner with them anymore. Anytime I saw them- I would leave the room as fast as I could.

Which was a terrible feeling.

I spent a lot of time with Max- she was my saving grace. She was helping me figure out things for college- I applied for scholarships, student loans, and also had some money saved up from work. I was going to still go to school- I didn't want to give myself any other choice, or show my parents they "won".

One night in late April, I came home from work and I heard yelling in the kitchen.

"Why the hell can't you just accept her? She's your own daughter! And you're treating her like she committed some kind of crime." I heard Peyton yell.

"I am not going to support her lifestyle." my mom said back, "It's immoral."

"So was me getting pregnant in high school by a deadbeat but you had no issue with that!" Peyton yelled back.

"Peyton, calm down please." my dad said, his voice stern.

"No. You know what, no. I'm not going to calm down. I am tired of this. You are going to lose a relationship with both of your daughters- not just Bella- if you keep this up." Peyton said.

I then heard footsteps as she stormed out of the kitchen.

She paused when she saw me. "How much did you hear of that?"

"Enough of it." I said, "Thank you, Peyton. You didn't have to stick up for me like that."

"Yes I did." Peyton said, and then she enveloped me in a hug.

I held on to my sister tight- full of appreciation for her.

The next night I was in my bedroom, looking up scholarships on my laptop that I could apply for. It was a Thursday night, and I was just eager for the weekend. Everything was exhausting me.

I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in." I said.

I was surprised to see my dad at the door.

"Hi, Bell." he stood there, "Can I sit down? I want to talk to you."

"Oh...sure." I said, moving over to make room for him to sit down on my bed.

He sat down and was quiet for a moment. Then he sighed and said, "Help me understand."

"Understand what?" I asked, even though I fully knew what he was talking about.

"You. Your...feelings toward girls." my dad said, like it was painful for him to speak.

"I feel the same toward girls that you expected me to feel toward boys." I said, "And I have hated myself for a long time for it. For years, I even prayed it would go away. It's not a choice. I wouldn't have chosen this- but since I am this way, I need to embrace it."

My dad was silent for a moment. Then he nodded and said, "I may not...approve. But I'm not going to punish you for something you can't choose." he looked at me and said, "I'm still going to pay for your college. That was wrong of me to not."

"Thank you." I said, "I appreciate it."

"I don't want to lose my daughter. It may take time for me to...accept it. And wrap my head around it. I just don't want your life to be hard because of it."

"It would be much harder if I lived a lie." I said.

My dad looked down and nodded. "I understand that."