All The Things You Said (gxg)

Early Childhood

I had a group of 3 best friends in elementary school- by the time it was the year of 2007- and we were in 6th grade- we were inseparable.

And every young girl wants to feel that way- accepted and loved. That's how my three best friends- Katie, Emma, and Priyanka made me feel.

Until one day- I got the urge to kiss Katie.

The four of us sat at a picnic table at recess. I wore a light pink t-shirt with jean overalls and pink Converse. My golden blonde hair was back in a low ponytail, and I had earrings in my ears from Limited Too.

I sat next to Emily- her long, bouncy light blonde curls cascaded to her waist, and she had a little bit of blue eyeshadow on. Emily was allowed to wear makeup, unlike the rest of us. She wore a hot pink Juicy Couture zip up hoodie.

Priyanka was across from me. Her long, shiny black hair was in a braid, and she wore a simple black t-shirt and jeans. She had her nails painted purple, and a few bangle bracelets on.

Then there was Katie. Katie's straight strawberry blonde hair ended at her shoulders. Her green eyes always had a happy look to them, and she had light freckles scattered across her cheeks. She wore a jean jacket with a white shirt underneath.

I always admired Katie- I think the most out of the girls in my friend group. She didn't care what people thought, and always was herself. There was something about her that I thought was really pretty too. I didn't know if it was her reddish blonde hair or her freckles or that she wore cool hats a lot.

The chatting among my friends seemed far away- as I suddenly thought about the weekend prior. Katie came over to my house- and it was just us. We sat on the swing on my porch- side by side. I remembered us talking and laughing, and looking at each other.

My mind wandered and then the thought popped into my head- what if I had kissed her?

And for a split second, that thought felt natural. Like the most natural thing on this Earth.

Then I started to panic.

Why am I thinking about kissing my best friend?

"Bella? Hey, Bells! Are you okay?"

Emily's voice snapped me out of my trance.

I looked to see my friends, all looking at me, concerned.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Priyanka asked me, "We wanted to know if this weekend you wanted to have a sleepover at Emily's. But you weren't answering."

"Oh, sorry." I shook my head, "I'm fine. I just kept thinking about...the Math test earlier. I definitely failed it and my mom will be angry."

I then plastered a smile on my face. "A sleepover sounds great!" I said.

"Awesome." Emily smiled at me.

"You know- I think I didn't do so well on the math test too." Katie said to me, "It was pretty hard."

"Yeah, it was." I looked at Katie.

I hoped that I wouldn't have the thought of kissing her again.

I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. Even my bus buddy- Elizabeth- asked me if something was wrong on our bus ride home. I told her no, that I just wasn't feeling very well.

We walked back to our neighborhood together, and said goodbye as we each went into our respective homes.

As usual, my mom was in the kitchen, making dinner. There was a snack for me at the kitchen counter.

"Hey, honey! How was school today?" my mom asked me, turning to smile at me. Her light blonde hair was up in a ponytail, and she had an oven mitt on her right hand.

"It was good." I said, sitting at the kitchen counter. For snacks, there were apples with peanut butter and Graham crackers for me. "What are you making for dinner?"

"Baked ziti. Your brother needs carbs before his baseball practice." my mom said, "It'll be done soon."

"Can I come with you to the game?" I asked her.

"How much homework do you have?"

"Only homework in Science tonight. It won't take me very long."

"Only if you do it right after we get back." my mom said.

"I will." I nodded.

My brother, Andrew, is 3 years older than me- he is in high school, he's a freshman. I also have an older sister, Peyton. She's in 7th grade, she's only a year older than me.

My dad came home from work at 5, and right after that, we all sat down to eat dinner. My brother was already in his baseball uniform.

My dad is a VP at a finance company- and my mom only works part time at a preschool to have something to do throughout the week. She doesn't really need to work, but since I was in 3rd grade, she's been part time there.

Everyday we eat dinner at around 5:15 together, at the dining room table. No TV, no distractions. Just sitting down for dinner like a "Good, American family" as my dad says, proudly.

"Drew, are you ready for your game tonight?" my dad asked him, eating a bite of the spinach my mom made with the baked ziti.

"Sure am." Drew nodded, "I think we are going to do well."

"That's my boy." my dad grinned at him, "Make me proud, I'll be coming to your next game."

"Mom and I will be cheering you on from the stands." I said to Drew.

"Wait, Bella is going to the game but I can't?" Peyton looked at my mom, angrily.

"Peyton, you have homework you have to do. Tests you have to study for." my mom said, "Bella only has a bit of science homework."

"Just wait until you get to middle school." Peyton turned to me, her green eyes stormy, "It won't be so easy, Bella."

"Peyton, that's enough." my dad said, firmly.

Peyton is very defiant. Ever since she got to middle school back in September, she's given my parents more and more attitude. I don't remember my brother being that way.

I didn't think I would be that way either.

"Did you have a good day, sweetie?" my dad asked me.

Oh, yeah. I just thought about kissing a girl, that's all.

"Yes. It was good." I smiled at my dad.

At the baseball game that night, I sat next to my mom. It was April, a Spring night, with a nice breeze.

She cheered on my brother, and said, "See, if Peyton was here, she would just be checking out all the guys."

I know my mom was right.

I was looking at all of the guys on the baseball team as well- but not like how Peyton would be.

I'm going to have to marry a guy like the ones on the baseball team one day?

The thought appeared into my mind. It wasn't the first time I had a thought like that- I often would look at my mom and dad and think-

Is this what I will have one day? A marriage with a man?

Because I really could not picture it.

Even when I was 12 years old- I could not picture it.

Not one bit.