Roommate Arrangement

Screw You, Awesome Kisser

Jade

I eat an entire Listerine PocketPak on the subway ride home to kill any lingering germs in my mouth from Awesome Kisser. I'm annoyed by the whole thing, but at least she apologized and seemed sincere about the accidental tongue invasion. Too bad the hotness of the memory is marred by raging Brittany and the sneeze in the face.

After getting home, I rinse with mouthwash, down six vitamin C capsules and some anti-flu holistic stuff, and then I go ahead and make myself my customary before-bed, pre-audition nighttime drink of hot honey-lemon water, and pray I've done a good enough job of ridding myself of germs.

I climb into bed, note my sheets lack a fresh scent, question when I last washed them, then I set my alarm and close my eyes. Behind my lids appears the hottie – who Brittany called Per-Per, which I doubt is her actual name. I'm going to stick with Awesome Kisser.

Now that I'm past the shock-and-awe factor I can fully appreciate that girl's beauty in the shouty caps sense of the word. It's unfortunate she dates vapid, self-absorbed model-y types and not starving artists. I have a feeling "date" isn't the appropriate word anyway. It's also unfortunate that she has poor sneezing manners.

I consider that she was likely a guest at the engagement party, and she very well may be a guest at the wedding as well. If I'm still dateless by then she could make an excellent potential dance partner, depending of course on how tight she is with Armstrong. If they're close friends, I don't think it's advisable to get involved in any semi-unclothed dancing outside of the wedding celebrations, no matter how gorgeous she is. I don't want to run the risk of encountering her again should things not go as well as one hopes.

Eventually, I stop fantasizing about what's under her clothes and pass out.

----

I'm just about to find out exactly what's in Awesome Kisser's designer pants when a repetitive, annoying sound distracts me. I pause just before I smooth a hand over the amazingly prominent bulge while she tilts my head back, her soft lips brushing mine, her hot tongue sweeping...

The wisps of the dream fade, and I crack a lid. The fantasy breaks with the obnoxious sunlight screaming its wake-up call, along with my stupid phone. Wow, sometimes I'm naughty in my dreams.

I reach for the phone, remembering that Leigh promised me a morning call, just in case I messed up my alarm, which has happened in the past. I was on the ball last night, though. I set three alarms, all within five minutes of each other so I wouldn't have an opportunity to fall back asleep.

"Rise and shine, Jade! I'm your wake-up call!" How she manages to sound so damn chipper at seven-thirty in the morning after her engagement party is beyond me.

A seal-like bark comes out when I attempt to grumble hello and tell her off for interrupting my dream.

"Jade? Are you there?"

I make a second attempt at speaking but all I manage is another bark.

"Do you have a bad connection? I told you not to go with the cheap provider. You know how terrible the reception is."

I clear my throat and immediately regret it, as it feels like knives are traveling up my esophagus.

"Jade?" Leigh asks again and then sighs. "I'm hanging up and trying again."

Once the line goes dead, I immediately hit the video call. Leigh picks up right away. She's wearing a white robe with her hair pulled up into a low bun, looking as fresh as baked bread out of the oven. I on the other hand, look like yesterday's garbage based on the small image in the corner of my phone.