My Obsession With a Slanted Mirror

September 9, 2010

Why does life have to be so complicated sometimes. I mean seriously, why, oh, why do boys have to play with your emotions? 

It was a rainy day. I wore my new yellow rain coat with a blue chiffon vintage dress, paired with knee high socks and my glossy grey Hunter rain boots. Classes were normal, everything as usual. It was when I was working on a bust in sculpting class when I feel my phone buzz on my lap. I look down. Oh jeese! I start to read what he has to say. It read: Lunch today? :) 

UGH! Of course I had to say yes! Of course I had to get all worked up about it! Of course his girlfriend had to be from a different school! The rest of my classes were spent in anticipation. 

James has been my friend for so long. I didn't always have the feelings I have for him now, I'm not even sure what my feelings are for him, but I know I have feelings for him and he's just so dang good looking I can't help but fall for him. He's like my Taylor Launter, my Joe Jonas, my Justin Bieber, my Robert Pattison or whatever celeb that all those tween girls chase after. 

So there we were, sitting there at a little old taco place talking about school and what not. I couldn't help but let my heart feel like something was actually there, that this was really something and that he wanted me just as bad. Then it started, right as we were sitting there. Monster started to scratch at the bars of its cage. Stop it, please stop it! I begged it. Monster was selfish, it wanted out again, it wanted to be fed more attention. I let my mind take a rest from the thoughts and it went back to its hiding. 

I wonder what James would think if I ever let him meet Monster. I didn't even want to imagine. Shortly the time ended and it was time to go back to class. Right before we went our seperate ways he grabbed my arm and told me that I meant a lot to him. He said that he never really felt comfortable with another person before and gave me a hug. It was a sweet gesture, but a way too short one. Why couldn't he have just pulled me right into his arms, dipped me down, given me a passionate long kiss and told me that I was the girl he wanted to be with? 

My heart sighs. Other than that today was a good day. Minimum homework, a good, but hard, conditioning sesh. Oh! Almost forgot, Marie took me shopping. There is something she's good at, and thats trying to make up with me by taking me shopping. When I get upset with her she will blow at least 300 dollars on me at any store I wish! 

Ok, I don't mean to sound spoiled or like a brat or anything, I mean, I never asked her to do it. Its just whenever she feels she did something wrong this is how she repays me. It wasn't anything she did wrong this time, but I wasn't going to stop her. Plus it doesn't happen that often. I mean we don't have that kind of money to do it everyday.