September 2, 2010

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Today, I kicked everyones butts! I love conditioning for soccer, the running drills are one one my favorites. We almost had to do them all twice because I beat the record time so fast.  My car was in the shop today so Father picked me up after school. That was really surprising to me because he's usually far too busy with Marie and work to even think about picking me up. Thats why he bought me my car, a grey Kia Soul, its used but nice. His business is also why we hired a nanny to help with Stevie. He's a three year old menace and even though he is Marie's child, a half brother, he has a special spot in my heart reserved all for him. Paula is new though, the last nanny was too young and almost lost our precious Stevie several times. Marie barely spends anytime with Stevie though, she's always too busy with her work. Her and Father are always too busy for any of us. We have one meal together and sometimes we will watch a T.V. show before bed. I hate it. 

Today, Father was on his Bluetooth headset all day, I couldn't even get a word in. I called him 'Father' just to get his attention. He hates it when I call him that, he insists that I call him anything but that. However, since Marie stepped into my Father's life he's no longer my 'daddy', 'dada' or even just plain old 'dad' to me anymore.To my dismay he just glared at me and went right back to talking. I wanted to tell him how I missed him, how I really appreciated him taking a little time off work to pick me up. 

I missed Mommy. I need my Mommy more that anything. I cry at night sometimes thinking about it. Marie is no mother. She's a body there for my father and to give him support. She doesn't know how to do anything except be a love partner for Father. She can't cook, clean, sew, or even do laundry! 

Well, I actually have a strength and agility test for soccer tomorrow so I need to get some shut eye. Hoping tomorrow I can find something to make this life more worth while. 

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