"You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days."
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Matilda Monroe always dreamed of traveling the world. She decides to leave her life behind and spend the summer in Italy.
Matilda comes across the Sunset Lake winery...
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Do you miss me? Are you worried about me? A part of me wishes you were. I know the truth and the truth is you're not even thinking about me. You are most likely drowning yourself in a bottle of vodka right now, blacked out of your mind. I couldn't watch you follow dad's footsteps any longer. Yet somehow I feel like it's my fault you're in this much pain.
The truth is, I feel so guilty for leaving. Am I being selfish? I remember you would always tell me I only cared about myself. I tried so hard to take care of you. I tried to be the daughter you wanted me to be for so many years. Even though you would say such awful things to me, I still forgave you and loved you. Why couldn't you love me?
I thought things would be better once he was gone. I should've known it would have been worse. I wish I could have helped you more. I'm sorry for failing you. I'm sorry for not being good enough for you
I'm sorry, mom.
"Are you even listening to me?" I hear as I look up to see Lainey staring at me. I place my journal and pen on top of the table.
"Sorry, my head was somewhere else." I sighed.
"Ever since we arrived you have been stuck inside your head. We came here to escape from that." Lainey said. I fold my hands in my lap as I look away from her.
She's right, we came here to escape from everything back home. I'm wasting so much time being inside my head, but I can't control it. "It's easier said than done," I mumbled.
"What's on your mind? Talk to me." Lainey sits beside me at the dining table.
I slide my journal over to Lainey for her to read. Lainey has always been my person. She's taken me in during the nights I ran away from home when my father wouldn't stop shouting at my mother and me. She knew about everything I went through and she has never turned her back on me. Lainey always accepted me. She always made me laugh and she always made me feel loved.
As I watched Lainey read what I wrote down, my right leg began to bounce up and down from my anxiety. I began to feel like I was having heart palpitations. What made it even worse is that I couldn't make out what Lainey was thinking. She had a poker face. Her expressions were never the easiest to tell, but I could somewhat read her since we're so close.
She looked up at me while closing the book. She slid it back over to me as she tilted her head to the side. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. My fingers tap the table at a quick pace as she continues to stare at me.
She has the worst resting bitch face sometimes.
"Say something!" I hollered. The longer she stayed quiet the more I thought of the worst possible scenario.
"Why do you torture yourself, Matilda?" Lainey asked, her voice cracking as I could see her eyes become glassy.
