𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 | 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘪/𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘥

III

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SHOTO'S MAD WAVELENGTH

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─THE FLIGHT AND train ride was long, but Shoto's thoughts kept him company.

Resentment and anxiety weighed heavy on Shoto's mind. Not only was he confronting the grave of his innocence, but he was worried about Iida. The articles Shoto scrolled through described how mangled Ingenium was once police recovered him from his battle with the Hero Killer. Now, his classmate was interning in Hosu, where the killer was last seen.

Shoto wanted to ask Iida what the Hell he thought he was going to accomplish. Even if he crossed paths with the Hero Killer, did Iida think he had a chance? The Villain was taking down the Pros, for God's sake. The unassuming boy knew his classmate intended to make Stain pay for what he did, but the spiteful act of defiance could cost his life. Shoto wondered if he'd ever see Iida again.

In a way, the heterochromatic boy could stomach Iida's rage. He was the same way when his father hit his mother, even when he was too young to defend himself. Shoto would do anything in his power to get in the middle of it, hoping Endeavor would take his anger out on him instead. Iida seems to adore his brother. Shoto wished he could've spent more time with his siblings so he could visualize doing the same for them.

His walls of resentment grew as he replayed the movie of his past, having to wipe his ocean eyes towards the end. The Hero had so much to say, but part of him knew the words would choke him rather than spill out. After eleven years, Shoto still didn't have the emotional intellect to put his emotions into terms. Because of his father, he was better at putting them into action. Anger was an easy emotion to put into action and even easier to dwell on.

What would someone say to the boy who teased them of death? To someone who kicked them in the face and then promised to see them again? How could Shibusen pride itself on the countenance of justice when the title was undeserving? Gods ruled Shibusen and justified their actions with the excuse of law and order. Shoto somehow felt everything at once and nothing at all. The paradox of his emotions only irritated him further, his anxiety and sadness bleeding into bitterness.

After the research Shoto conducted on the Academy, he was still clueless about the identity of Lord Death II. What if this wasn't the boy he knew and his past turned out to be a mere illusion? No, it couldn't end like that. Shoto's story couldn't end without closure. During his weakest childhood moments, he prayed to God and his friend Kid for help and closure. The five-year-old would beg God to return his body to the stars, promising he'd be "extra good" if Kid came back for him. He swore he wouldn't pout or throw fits if his friend returned. No matter how loud or often Shoto prayed, God slammed the door on him like a dog the family didn't want.

When he was younger, Shoto would entrust people with his story in hopes of validation or comfort. Instead, he was confronted with apathy and denial. After being shut down by his sister, he stopped sharing his experiences with people. Shoto's secrets were a weakness, and everyone around him was a potential rival.

Sometimes, Shoto believed Shinigami manipulated him into believing he was a child to mask who he was. The God's physical form validated this theory.

Like Iida, Shoto chose his internship based on selfish desires. Before receiving Shibusen's letter, he was going to intern at his father's agency to see the world through the eyes of the #2 Hero, but why would he intern with a Hero when he could intern with a God?