Clexa

Chapter 11

-Clarke's POV-

I woke up this morning with an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. Lexa and I fought for the first time last night and it was over something so ridiculous it should have never started.

I got jealous of Jasper flirting with Lexa when I shouldn't have. I trusted Lexa, really, but for some reason it made me so mad to see them together. Actually, I knew the reason why. It was because I was upset that it couldn't have been the two of us openly flirting back and fourth with everyone. Why was I so afraid of telling people? I love Lexa, why not let the world know? Or at least the people I called my best friends.

None of this would have even happened if I didn't put so much pressure on being low key and not acting like a couple.

Now I was finding a whole new reason to be upset though. The last thing Lexa said to me last night was that she didn't know what we were or where we were at. It made me a little mad to think that after one fight she was doubting my feelings for her. I might have been mad in the moment, but I still loved her and I wished she would have just realized that.

I had no idea how to handle this situation. Should I talk to her right away? Give her time to cool off? She might be mad at me still for how childish I acted, I wouldn't really blame her if she was. This was a first for me, fighting with a significant other. I wasn't sure what the next step to making things right was, but I loved Lexa more than anything and I knew I had to try.

After laying in bed for a few more hours making plans in my head I finally got up and readied myself for the day. When I was all finished I walked out into the hallway and saw that the guest room door was closed.

Should I knock?

Maybe it wasn't the right way to do this but I felt like I needed to talk to her right away. So I knocked, and after a minute without an answer I turned the handle and realized the door wasn't even locked. When I went inside I found a completely empty room, the bed was made and everything.

I ran to the closet and fell to my knees immediately. None of Lexa's clothes were there.

I had to make sure she hadn't left yet. Maybe she was just talking to my mom downstairs before she decided to leave. Maybe I had time to change her mind.

Within seconds I was sprinting down the stairs and calling out for her. I got into the kitchen and found my mother making breakfast. She was acting so casual, like the love of my life wasn't missing.

"Clarke what are you yelling for?"

"Mom!" I ran to her and grabbed her shoulders. "Is Lexa here? Is she still here?" My voice was cracking with desperation.

"What are you talking about? I haven't seen anybody all morning. I assumed you two were sleeping in and I was just about to call you down for breakfast. Clarke...where is Lexa?"

I couldn't speak, couldn't even move. All I could do was lean into my mom to keep me from falling to the floor. My mother held me while I tried to process everything that just happened. Lexa was gone. She left because of me, and I didn't know if I would be able to convince her to come back.

My mom led me to the couch and sat me down with some coffee. I retold the story of our fight last night while she sat quietly and listened. She didn't say a word until I was finished with the entire story. After I finished and wiped a few tears away, my mother waited a few seconds before she spoke. I could tell she was thinking of just the right thing to say.

"You need to give the people in your life more credit Clarke. You were so afraid of telling me about you and Lexa, but I didn't think you would be the same way with your friends. The people in your life are here because they love you and you have to believe that something so simple as who you are dating wouldn't change how they felt about you."