Demolition Lovers (Frerard)

21: pilots (yes i'm going to make this pun again)

Gerard stood frozen upon the spot for entirely far too long: unable to even think, let alone breathe, let alone move, and goddamn, he was certain of the fact that there was absolutely nothing he could to save himself at this point.

He was fucked: most utterly fucked, and it was most definitely his fault; Gerard wasn't even sure why or what he could have possibly have done to deserve this fate, but part of him deep down just knew that he did, and that that was that.

Ray smiled at him from across the room: a genuine kind of welcoming smile that fucked with Gerard's head and made him even want to trust the guy he'd been running from- but technically Bert had kidnapped him, and- fuck, Gerard didn't know who he could trust anymore at all, and that really wasn't helping matters.

And with a head as fucked up as his, he wasn't even sure if he could trust himself at this point, and that was the biggest mess of all.

"It was so horrible of him to steal you away from me like that." Ray stepped forward, reaching his hand out for Gerard to take, but the artist remained frozen, and unable to respond, even if he had wanted to. "But I've got you back now, and we're good now, so that's okay. I'm not mad at you, I promise, baby."

Gerard nodded, his words drying up in his throat as he struggled to force them through his lips, and it was all a trap, and if Gerard knew anything, he knew that he wasn't going to make it out of this mess with even a drop of sanity remaining.

"Gerard?" Ray continued, stepping closer to him: curious as to why Gerard hadn't shown any emotion or well, anything at all. "Are you okay?"

Gerard shook his head before he could think about anything, and Ray was stepping forward and pulling him into a hug within seconds. 

"Tell me what's wrong, come on, I'll make it better." Gerard shook his head, finally regaining control of his movements, or at least as much as he could, and pulling away from Ray, his whole body trembling as he did so.

"No-no... no... please... no..." Gerard continued to shake his head, stepping away from Ray and eventually backing into the opposite wall of the room.

"Gerard? What's wrong?" Ray exclaimed, looking him up and down with a kind of genuine concern that unsettled Gerard completely. "Just, please, I won't hug you if you don't want, okay? But I need to know: I can't help you if I don't."

"What if I don't want you to help me?" Gerard spoke after a moment: his voice small and somewhat unexpected by the both of them. "I don't." He added with his sudden gained confidence. "Don't help me, Ray, leave me alone."

"What? With the guy who kidnapped you?" Ray spoke as if the notion was absolutely ridiculous, and well, in his mind, it kind of was. "No chance, Gerard: I care about you, I'm going to look after you. You know that, don't you?"

"What if I don't want you to?" Gerard continued, his confidence growing with every word, and well, Ray wasn't exactly a fan of this.

"You've got to let me help you, Gerard, otherwise you'll never get better-"

"Get better?" Gerard's eyes widened, Ray's words catching him by surprise. "I'm not sick, I-"

"You're not sick, but you're broken: you trust people too easily - Bert, Frank, everyone, and you're going to hurt yourself in a world like this, and it hurts me to see you mess up like this, and believe me, Gerard, I just want to help you, and you pushing me away breaks my heart."

Gerard paused for a moment, his gaze hitting the floor: utterly clueless as to what to believe at this point. "Bert said that you're a bad person." He paused for a moment, looking up to meet Ray's gaze before continuing. "He said that I deserve better than you-"