Innocence

8

Karina's POV

The guilt that im feeling inside me grows as i watch her ran away from me. I wanted to run after her. Stop her, hold her hand and say that im sorry. However, it would all still be useless since my answer to her question will always stay the same, but why can't i? That's the question i couldn't bring myself to answer.

I sighed as i hailed a cab and went home to our dorm. When i opened the dorm i was greeted by Ningning and Aeri. "You're home unnie btw, where's Minjeong unnie?". Ningning asked looking behind me to find if Minjeong's hinding on my back. "So where is Minjeong? Karina?". Aeri asked while wiping her hands on the side of her shirt.

"I- she said she'll go home later, she didn't tell me where but yeah...". They looked at me as if they don't believe me that's why i gulped. I sighed in relief when they nodded and just dismissed the topic. "What are you two doing?".

"Me and Giselle unnie are cleaning our room". Ning replied, my eyes feel droopy and i feel so exhausted. "Okay, btw im sleeping early. Can you two open the door for Minjeong if she gets home?". They both nodded and Aeri showed an i gotcha finger sign. I smiled tiredly and went inside my room.

I plopped my body on the mattress. I closed my eyes and slowly drift off to sleep. I kept on tossing and turning on the bed, no matter how much i close my eyes i just can't sleep. I sat up and my eyes wondered around the room until i saw our group photo. We all look so happy my eyes widened when i stared at the picture closely.

We are all looking at the camera except for Minjeong. Instead of the camera she was looking at my direction instead while smiling widely. I caressed the framed photo on my hands. Why do i feel this, this feeling of emptiness, loneliness and...guilt. "It's because you also love her, why would you push the person you love away?". The voice in my head said.

I gripped the frame tightly as i placed the forehead on the picture frame. "I can't, im scared...Im not as brave as she is. I don't want to break our friendship. Im scared because, what if we got together and we broke up. It will affect our group's chemistry, and i don't want that. That's why i can't, i love her but i love the group too". I said silently as i brought the picture to my chest and hugged it tightly. "Sorry Minjeong, im not brave enough".

"But is that what you really want, it's okay to be selfish sometimes...". I looked at the doorstep and saw Aeri leaning on the door. I immediately wiped my tears and placed the frame on the bedside table. "W-what are you doing here Aeri?". She sighed and walked towards me then sat beside me on the bed. "I heard everything, Karina. There's no need to hide it". She said and placed her hand on top of mine.

"You love Minjeong don't you, Karina". My lips quivered and tears forming on the side of my eyes. I stared at her and she opened her arms motioning me to come near her. I cried and hugged her tightly. "H-how d-did you know". She chuckled while caressing me back. "I already knew before i heard the things you said earlier. Eyes don't lie, Karina. You say that you like Ryujin but your actions tells me otherwise".

"I-i do like Ryujin". I pulled away from her. "But not as the way you love Minjeong right?". I opened my mouth to object but she shushed me down. "You don't want to admit that's fine, but don't you think pushing Minjeong away doesn't hurt her feelings? By pushing her, you're hurting her and you yourself as well". I gulped and looked away, she's right about that.

"I know you value us as group Karina, but you know that all of us will always support your decision right? We will never stop you from doing something that makes you happy".

"Im scared Aeri, what if the group break down because of us. I don't want that to happen Gi". She sighed. "You're scared i see, but if you really love her then fight for her. As far as i can see, there's a lot of girls and guys out there who would love to take Minjeong out too. If you really love her, make your move girl". I smiled and nodded. "I-i'll try".