Heart of Gladiator

Wave of Emotions

Never in her whole life did Gwenor ever feel this hurt, this humiliated. She could feel herself burn from inside as the wildest emotions erupted within her and took over. It was indescribably painful. Her chest felt so heavy, she could hardly breathe. Pressing her hand against her breast, she bit her lip, almost unbearing the twinge in her heart. It was as if a monster's claws grasped at it and cruelly squeezed it to a point she could scream out from pain.
At the same time she was so ashamed of herself. Why would she feel this way towards Aurelius? Why would she feel so betrayed? She'd never taken anything so personal before, and suddenly she was here crying endlessly like an unhappy child, feeling so broken, betrayed and abandoned.
"Foolish girl," she hissed at herself, sitting on the floor in front of her door as if trying to keep everything away from her, behind that door, including all her feelings, thoughts and sorrows.
It all appeared ridiculous, she knew, because it actually was ridiculous. But no matter what her sensical and logical head tried to convince her, her heart was still torn apart and wouldn't stop weeping and pitying its poor self.
Then she heard steps nearing her door gradually. She tried to figure out whose steps they were, but couldn't. They were unfamiliar to her. But as soon as she could hear someone's slightly hitched breathing behind her door and above her, she at once knew it was him. In a moment of complete silence and anticipation, she waited for him to say or do something. The longer she waited, the faster her heart raced and the more worn out and agitated she felt. He was probably thinking it over, whether to make a move or not, whether to say the truth or keep it forever hidden. Oh she could have cried right then!
"Gwenor," his beautiful voice called out to her, and she completely froze, almost staying that way for as long as she could remember. A lump formed in her throat. She couldn't speak nor move. Probably she stopped breathing altogether and didn't even know it. How strange she seemed to herself. She couldn't even recognise or understand this behavior of hers.
"Gwenor," again he called out, his voice slightly tremulous that it rather surprised her. Did she hear traces of emotion in that solid and firm voice of his? She could almost not believe it. Was she shocked, wretched, or angry or happy, or all together?
"Are you there?" He asked, gently knocking at the door. But she couldn't give a response of any kind. She was stuck in that moment of unbelief and wildness that she feared her own self. This is a moment in which she could no way trust her actions. She needed a time for recovery.
He stood for awhile behind her door; she could hear his breathing. But soon he started to take his steps away from her door, and she couldn't make up her mind. Did she have to go after him or stay were she was?
"Oh curse you my heart! You are one cruel creature!" And she fell into a sob once more.