Chapter Fourteen

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I could feel my heart stop and then slowly slowly start again. It hurt. My breathing came back too. I could feel my soul changing. My aura was slowly fading from it's beautiful vibrant colors to pitch black. My soul was moving and twisting and forming something sinister. I opened my eyes and although I couldn't see them, I could tell they were black.

"(y/n)?"

I sat up. "Dean?"

"Yeah. It's me. How are you feeling?"

I didn't feel right. I wanted to get up and hug him, but part of me wanted to throw him across the room and go find Lucifer.

"I don't feel right."

I could tell he wanted to come hug me just as badly as I wanted to hug him, but there was something else in his expression. He was scared.

"I have to leave. I don't want to hurt you." I said as I stood up.

I could tell he didn't want me to go, but he didn't want to be near me. I didn't blame him though. I was a monster now. The very thing he hunted and killed.

I walked by and ran for the door. I realized we were back in the bunker. He grabbed my hand and I tried to pull away.

I felt my eyes go black and my body filled with rage.

"LET GO OF ME!" I yelled. I yanked hard enough that he lost his grip. He chased me through the halls and eventually trapped me in the basement.

"(y/n), stop running."

"Dean you need to let me leave. I don't know if I'm going to keep myself in control."

"You can fight it. I know you can."

I really didn't want to hurt him, but I could feel the rage taking over. I went to run at Dean but I felt someone grab my hands.

"It's okay (y/n). This isn't you."

It was Cass. I pulled harder trying to get away from him, but he wrapped his arms around my chest locking me in place.

I growled/screamed one more time.

I locked eyes with Dean. "I can't do this."

"I know. I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner."

I smiled. "It's okay. I think you guys should go. So I don't end up hurting anyone."

Dean came closer to me. "You can let go, Cass."

Cass let go of me, but he stayed close incase I freaked out again. Dean put his hands on my shoulders.

"I will do everything I can to keep you safe okay?"

"How? I belong to Lucifer now."

"I dont know, but we'll figure something out."

He was trying to get through to me, but whatever he was saying just wasn't sticking. I wanted to listen and I wanted the words to mean something to me, but I couldn't. It all kept slipping through my fingers.

"You can't. I have to go." I then teleported to Lucifer.

"Well you came back quicker than I thought you would." He said smiling.

"You promise me that you wont lay a finger on them."

I had a fire in my eyes. If he hurt the boys I was no longer going to stand by his side.

"This is something you arent just going to get over is it?"

"Nope. If you break the deal I will no longer be loyal to you."

He smiled. "Deal. Now, lets get started."

He sowed me to a room that was full of demons. He sat me down on a throne and introduced me.

"Now (y/n)," He said as he walked back towards me. "You agreed to let me wipe your memory."

I stood up. "No. I'm not letting you do that."

A sinister look came over his face. "Don't forget that if you break the deal I can hurt your precious Dean."

I faltered. I hated that he knew my weakness. It made getting away from him so much harder.

"Thats good. Im glad you're learning." After a second he started talking again. "It's going to be a slow process. I'm not going to take all of your memories at once. That would be bad. But I'll start by taking small memories. Things you've already started to forget."

I sighed. Even though I hated him, I couldn't help but feel connected to him. He put his fingers against my temples. I could feel him forcing the memories out of my head. He took away dreams I had and small conversations with people.

"How are you feeling?"

I couldn't remember what he took from me. I didn't even feel like anything was missing.

"I don't feel any different."

"Perfect. Now, you can go back to your friends. Just know you'll be back here in a few days so I can collect more memories."

Next thing I knew I was standing outside the bunker.

"Holy shit (y/n) don't sneak up on me like that!"

I turned and saw Sam leaning against the wall.

"Sorry Sam. Didn't mean to scare you. I was going to go inside, but I can't."

He realized what I meant. The only way I could get in was if they broke the warding.

"Cass showed us a way to get you in. It's a bit of a walk, but it's better than nothing."

I smiled. "Thanks Sam."

"So, how are you feeling?"

How did he think I was feeling. "Okay I guess. I mean, considering..."

"Yeah. I can't imagine."

He led me into a tunnel that lead to the bunkers basement.

"I know your not okay. You don't have to hide from us."

"I know, but I don't want to hurt you." I kept talking so he couldn't get a word in. "I know you guys think you can protect me, but you can't. I wanted this."

He looked sad. "What do you mean?"

"Lucifer said that if I agreed to this he wouldn't hurt you. Or Dean or Cass. And If I'm really good he'll even leave Rowena and Crowley alone."

Sam pulled me into a hug. "We'll find a way to fix this (y/n)."

I pulled away. "No. I'm not going to let that happen."

"Why? We care about you!"

I turned back to him. "If you guys fix me, then I break the deal. And Lucifer will be able to hurt you guys. I'm not letting that happen and you can't change my mind."

And I left him standing there while I went to go find Dean.

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