GUN IN MY HAND

CHAPTER 40: NOTHING TO LOSE

'Lock your lip

Don't you make sound

'Cause the walls are thin

And the word is out now'

"You can do this," I repeated myself, summoning all my confidence and maybe some magic with an umpteenth deep breath.

After all, what was the worst that could happen?

I had nothing to lose as my gaze traveled from my open palm to the neon sign, and before my courage could be defeated, I pushed the door open and entered the now-familiar room.

Well, I would never be fully accustomed to the heady smell that hit my nose as soon as I stepped in, but my eyes instantly recognized the gloomy and dark surroundings, every table and road sign as I remembered, even a few familiar faces.

"Hey, Dorothy!"

"Hi, Morris, Clinton, how are you?" I walked to the bar, where both men were standing, while my gaze was running everywhere around the room.

"Good, and you? What you doing here?" Morris replied after some time to process my simple question, enough for my gaze to finish its circuit around and come back to my twisting hands.

"Well, I'm looking for Blade. Do you know where he is?"

"No, I didn't see him today."

"Hey, Wayne! Y'know where's Blade?!" Clinton called to the back of the room, and it confirmed my theory that there was a mysterious labyrinth there when a voice answered instantly,

"He went outta town with Pete."

That explained why I'd been met with a locked door there and had almost turned back.

"Oh, Dorothy!" Wayne nodded as soon as he came into view and spotted me and my figure in pink that surely stood out in all the leather jackets, and apparently, my question was as obvious because he added, "They should be back soon. You can wait for him here."

My eyes went back to my hands and higher, to my wrist, as I contemplated what 'soon' could be, and if it would be before my mom came back home.

In fact, there wasn't much to think about. I couldn't postpone talking to Blade, and it was my last chance. Besides, even if I wasn't sure Blade would be happy to find me here, it was safer to wait in the crowded bar with his 'non-friends' than outside, in the empty and darkening streets.

So what was I even twisting my brain, stomach, and fingers for?

"Maybe we can finish our pool game?"

My twists were stopped by Morris and his mustache, which he was still stroking, and in front of the two other guys' challenging grins, it was obvious they hadn't finished the game from the other night.

It wouldn't have been polite to leave them hanging more, and for this, I had no hesitation as I returned their smiles.

"Okay, but don't tell Blade we played without him."

I had nothing to lose after all, and without Blade and his bad intentions, I was even winning quickly.

Yet after a few victories, I was missing this special thrill, my eyes always glancing around in search of something, which I wouldn't find in the glasses of alcohol or all my defeated opponents.

"How about darts?" I resigned myself as I'd scared away everyone to play pool with me, and Blade still wasn't here.

"Are you as good to aim?" Wayne narrowed his eyes at me, making me shrug innocently.