Forced to have the Player's Kid (Book One of The Great Age Plague Series)

Chapter Twenty-Two

My heart sank along with my knees. I was crying on the floor even before the phone rang. I picked up, sniffling. It was Cally.

"Adira! You finally picked up! I've tried calling and texting you, I was worried," she said. I bit my lip trying not to sob. There was silence and when I looked up, Josh stood there in shock, unsure of what was going on. I breathed out, trying to keep calm, hoping in a small part of my heart it wasn't true.

"She's dead?" I managed. The line went silent and my heart picked up, making my head pound, making me feel like I wanted to tear off my skin, making my heart ache and breath stop- finally, Cally spoke.

"Yes. I heard it on the news that a woman died in the hospital of the plague and-"

"How do you know it's her?" I yelled suddenly. Josh flinched and I heard Cally gasp on the other end of the line. Tears ran down my face as I stood up, biting my lip so hard it bled "She had a nurse- Josh got her- She's already immune I.. I..." I babbled, feeling dizzy from the sinking feeling in my stomach. Cally sighed sadly.

"They said it on the news, Adira," Cally whispered "They said her name. I thought you knew- I thought they would've called your home." On the other line, I heard Cally let out a small cry, and I knew, at once, it was true. I sat back down, feeling like my body was filled with lead to fill the spot my soul left. I just stared, feeling numb. I heard Cally say something but I didn't know what. Josh took the phone from my hands.

"She's with me, don't worry.... You can come over anytime, I think she could really use you right now... Yeah, okay," Josh said. I couldn't hear what Cally was saying and I didn't make an effort to figure it out. I just sat there, feeling numb. Josh hung up and set the phone back in my hand, but I didn't clutch it, didn't look at him, and didn't move, focusing solely on breathing and blinking. Everytime I even considered going back to those feelings, the implications, the realization- something snapped inside me, firey hot, and painful. So I stared at the wall- stared at the stupid picture of the palm tree painting on it. Stared at the crack in the left hand corner. Memorized the wood working pattern on the wall lining. Watched the cobweb flutter in the breeze of the air vents. Watched the air vents turn on and off.

I later learned that I sat there for two straight hours doing and saying nothing, even when prompted by Josh. He shook me, yelled at me, and even cried trying to get me to focus. To this day, I don't remember any of it, I just remember staring at the wall. I didn't come to until I was lifted into strong arms and carried into the bathroom. There Josh stripped me down, but not in a sensual way- he was too worried- and lifted me into a warm bath tub. Blinking, I let my eyes focus on him, and he smiled warily at me.

"Adira?" he asked, as if I might fall apart if he spoke too loudly. I nodded. Yes. Adira was my name. I looked down at my hands, feeling disembodied.

"Adira, I think you went into shock.... Um... I want you to lie down after your bath, okay?" said Josh. I nodded again, suddenly feeling confused. I couldn't remember what happened. What made me go into shock? Did something bad happen? I felt my heart beat speed up and suddenly, Josh's hand was on my back.

"Breathe slowly honey," he said. Had I been hyperventilating? I deliberately slowed my breathing. I focused on the water- it was warm and he had the jets running, massaging the small of my back. The bathroom smelled like lavender and the scent calmed me. When I peered up, I saw a candle lit in the corner. How did I even get in here?

"Adira, can you talk?" Josh asked. Licking my lips, I nodded. I didn't want to talk. I felt tired. Lifeless. Bogged down. What the hell had happened?

"Yeah," I said, and my voice came out raspy. I swallowed hard and my throat hurt- probably from crying. Josh petted my hair and turned off the water. Gently, he grabbed some champagne scented soap and a loofah from rack of various gels and soaps, proceeding to wash my back gently. I sighed at his touch, feeling sleepier and sleepier. After washing my body, Josh grabbed a hair tie and tied back my hair for me, but I continued to sit there, feeling tired. A gentle hand on my shoulder woke me up as I got lifted out of the tub. Josh grabbed a towel off the heated rack and wrapped it around my shoulders like I was a little kid. Adding to that, Josh picked me up and carried me out of the bathroom bridle style and that's all I can remember- I fell asleep in his arms.

***

I woke up several hours later in the middle of the night. The darkness wrapped around me. I realized I was alone in this world- alone, alone, no family left. My mother was gone. I started to scream, shaking with terror and pain. Josh came in the room, grabbing me in his big strong arms, holding me tighter. Soon my tears stopped. He continued to hold me, whispering that he loved me and petting my hair. I laid back down, feeling empty and exhausted again, and Josh crawled next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"I know it hurts Adira. I've felt it too," he whispered.

***

For three weeks, I wouldn't leave the bedroom. Josh did everything for me, from cooking to taking care of my cat. I laid in bed, either feeling numb or depressed and sleeping when I felt the latter. I woke up from nightmares and panic attacks. The screaming was the worst, but I couldn't stop it. The memories hurt too, breaking open the wound that my heart was covered in.

Josh helped organize my mother's funeral, but I didn't go. I couldn't handle it. Josh told everyone I was sick and they understood- apparently the funeral was peaceful and sad. They didn't know her like I did- no one did. The day of the funeral Josh came home wearing his tux, looking grey as the sky and tired as I felt. Later that day, all of the things from my old house were brought to Josh's mansion, and he personalized my room with my things, arranging them as I watched him idly. Cally joined him and tried to talk to me, but I didn't say much and she left me alone. I heard her whisper to Josh that she knew how it felt. I vaguly remembered when this happened to her, how she locked herself up for weeks while her boyfriend took care of her. It was almost like coming of age, the way things were now. I simply couldn't handle it.

***

One day, I got up and wandered into the kitchen. When Josh looked up, a few words sprung from my mouth, as if of their own volition:

"She's gone and that's okay. She's in Heaven, with my dad," I said. Josh stood up, ran to me, and pulled into a hug that lifted me off my feet. For the first time in weeks, I'd smiled.

This event began day by day, when lying in that bed I started to feel whole again. I remembered the good, forgave myself for the bad. The nightmares started to fade and sometimes, even, my thoughts would wander. I remembered my father's death, how my mother helped me through that, and I realized that the whole time I'd felt alone, Josh had been there. I held onto that, pondering it for a week before finally wandering into the kitchen.

"Adira, oh Adira," Josh said, kissing my face wildly, kissing my neck, kissing my lips. I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Josh, for everything," I said. Josh hugged me tighter and we stayed like that for what felt like forever. Finally, we broke apart and I wiped the tears that had formed in the corners of my eyes. Josh smiled shyly. It felt a little awkward between us, so I smiled too and we both laughed. Wow. It felt good to laugh again- weird even. I looked at the floor.

"Well, I thank you for everything except organizing my room. You did a horrible job," I said, feeling shocked as Josh laughed. Wow. I could still make jokes, still smile, still laugh, and the world wouldn't fall apart. Maybe I could move on. I knew that was what my mother would want.

"Sorry, Cally tried to help, but we couldn't figure how you'd like it," Josh said with a shrug. I nodded.

"Yeah, I remember that. Thanks again for dealing with my stuff. Where's my kitty?" I asked. Josh took my hand, leading me to the room my cat liked to stay in, when suddenly I felt nauseous. I shook it off- I hadn't walked around in a really long time, and I hadn't had a ton to eat that day. But suddenly, once Josh opened the laundry room door, I felt so sick I couldn't take it anymore and I ran to the nearest bathroom. Without warning, my stomach lurched into my throat with the taste of nickels and I vomited into the toilet. Wiping my mouth, I started to panic, and I turned to see Josh standing in the doorway, looking shocked. The plague! I had the plague! My heart pounded as I stared at my husband in horror, only to find he had a big grin on his face. That's when it hit me- I hadn't had my period in two months.

I was pregnant.

A/N- Sorry for the delay! My dorm internet has been down for a while and I haven't been able to write. Sorry for the depressing chapter, things should get more fun after this. Thanks!